Ambition v Passion

Mode: Still in cluttered mind.


Subconsciously, life cudn't be fair for us da microscopic mortals.

We might have encountered moments where we accidentally obtained da things we dun really want, but on the other hand, failed to grab da dreams we r truly dying for.

How irony.

Perhaps, lawyering job isn't 4 me

Perhaps, I shud have taken Law & History

Perhaps, I shud have minored in journalism

Perhaps, I shud have pursued my piano lesson since I was twelve

Perhaps, I shud have applied 4 Tele broadcasting trainee

Perhaps, I shud resume studying history untill doctorate level.


Granted, U mite say, being a self-sponsored stud makes ur career options widened. n u can explore more choices n flavours. How true. But truth be told, it also leads 2 a prob (of mine) -
the uncertainties in life

Have u ever felt da enthusiasm of 'i-wanna-do-dis-wanna-do-dat' but u dun know where 2 start wif???

or

a morale battle where ur parents want u 2 b a commercial solicitor but u dun give a crap being dat??? n ur quandary state of mind has made u feel damn inferior 2 handle.

If I cud just have endow da strength 2 tell me mum:

"Mak, I dun want to take my bar*. Im applying 4 Media Prima Talent-Pro Trainee Programme"

I wonder.

which brings me 2 justify da reasons I'm backing off from law:-

who gives a shit how an aggrieved party cud apply 4 promissory estoppel?

who gives a damn 2 examine da loss resulted from the 'Act of God?

who gives a crap 2 Lord Hoffman's guidance 2 prove whether a company's director has acted in good faith?

who gives a flying f**k to 'deserted wife's equity' n why was it rejected by the House of Lords in National Provincial Bank Ltd v Ainsworth [1965]?

whoever said dat I want 2 be a f**kin lawyer after saying all these.

On top of dat, I just cud feel being a lawyer doesn't make sense if u're 2 help ppl. Ever heard of no money,no claim?! 4 now, I managed 2 break myself from being keep on indoctrinated on 'da holiness n greatness being a lawyer'.

Amongst other things I've been brainwashed b4 :-

I wanna b a lawyer 2 admin justice

I wanna b a lawyer 2 fight corruptions

I wanna b a lawyer 2 save da injusticed chap

I wanna b a lawyer 2 defend da innocent mortal

I wanna b a lawyer 2 help da agrieved party

I wanna b a lawyer 2 change da law 4 a better living

Telling ya, its all bulls***s.

Nowadays lawyers (most of them) dun speak as they were used to be. They no longer seek justice, love mercy n walk humbly wif God. Da muslim lawyers (some of them) on d other hand, fail 2 observe da verses of

'Verily! Allah doth command thou to render back your trusts. To those to whom they are due; And when ye judge between people that ye judge with justice; Verily how excellent is the teaching which He giveth you! For Allah is He Who heareth and seeth all things' {The Women:58}

'O ye who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses. To God, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich and poor. For Allah can best protect both. Follow not da lusts (of your hearts), lest ye swervr, and if ye distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily God is well-acquainted with all dat ye do. {The Women:135}

Da Christian lawyers (mostly) no longer demonstrate God's character through its love n justice, neither be inspired by the call of da prophets Amos 5, Isaiah 3 n Micah 6:8

Lest they forget

"I'll lead da blind ... along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn da darkness into light b4 them and make the rough places smooth... I will not forsake them {Isaiah 42:16}

"For this is the covenant that I'll make with the house of Israel after those days, declares the Lord; I will put my laws into their minds and write them on their hearts and I'll be their God and they shall be my people {Hebrew:10}

4 all these reasons, I submit, lawyering isn't 4 me

n

I shall just follow my heart n stay focus on my dreams

2 all those people who have high hope on me, wishing me 2 put da black frilled gown wif a wig on me head,

I'm sorry. I cant. Just cant.

I know I've disappointed you. 4 dat i'm kneeling down.

Still I dun know wat I wanna be. da uncertainty of my future is wat I'm facing now.

God knows. Time tells (muting mode)

O God

I'm rambling too far now and sum1 has to tell me 2 stop or otherwise I'll keep on whining and swearing profusely. lol.

I admit dat. I apologise.

I just have 2 let dis out b4 it kills my brain cells

(myth of d day: thinking and worrying much cud damage ur brain neuron)

Lol

May God guides us thru.

x

*A bar examination is an examination to determine whether a candidate is qualified to practice law in a given jurisdiction.

Da Cry Of Me Heart

Have u ever felt dat u dun belong 2 a place despite God has granted u everything u wanted?


@ nites, I cry

xxx

A Little Politeness Goes A Long Way

Mode: Fenin' - after 7 nites wif less sleeps, I'm falling off n I c da whole universe was a spinning hotchpotch blurred of stars.

I gave my word 2 share wif u, a memorable moment which occured 2 me last few days.


CASE ONE (1)

Monday saw me going, on my way 2 NatWest, bumped into a chap (whom no longer a stranger 2 me) happened 2 b my junior in uni. Couple of secs b4, I was been approached by dos 'charity 4 children' volunteers, asking me 2 chip in 4 donation - which I dun want 2 highlight ere. It took me 10 mins 2 complete da donation details n da patient, humble mortal was standing next 2 me, waiting. I felt unease 4 keeping him waiting n completed da transaction @ da soonest I can.

Da following is a transcript of da exchange of words I had wif da young guy, along market street, heading to Piccadilly Central.

Junior A1: Abg Wann dr mane?

Opsss b4 I proceed:
FYI - dere will never n ever (in my whole entire life in Manchester) a XY chromosome wud address me 'Abg Wann'. Furthermore, seniority is never exist in Manchester Zarul Iman. Hence my heart bloated & flowered (^_^) n felt really touched. @ least, scarcely, sum1 is respecting me still despite I may not look like a respectable senior =(

Me: Abg dr office, heading 2 Precinct 2 check my balance in Natwest. Kamu dr mane?

Junior A1: dr Arnsdale ... (pausing)... I bought chin-up-bar 4 exercise

Me: Dats great. U really into body shaping, arent ya?

Junior A1: No - laa (blushing) Just a bit of exercise only when I feel like 2 do it. Abg dah makan?

Wat do u feel knowing sum1 cares much bout u? I feel like ..............................(speechless)

Me: No, but I'll grab egg-mayo later along da way.

On da bus, I tried 2 blend da sense of being alert+sensitive+knowledgeable. Dis is how it goes

Me: I believe Manchester Games is approaching. Is everything under control?

Junior A1: (long silence) ermmmmmmmm. ok kot. cuma ada prob sket on funding n wif 1 society/club. (4 mutual trust n confidence between us, I shall not reveal da name of d club) Abg wann, can I ask ur opinion, if u dun mind?

Me: (gaping) go on ... derang wat hal lagi ker?

n dere goes my long lecture. from piccadilly garden 2 precinct on bus journey.

_________________________________________________________

Compare dat wif dis one


CASE TWO (2)

Sumwhere last year, while I was preparing dinner, 2 blokes rang da bell-door: ma fren (whom I reluctantly 2 call him fren) n a junior

Let him be Junior A2 4 identification n comparison purposes. They were about 2 meet my housemate n I didnt mind inviting them 2 stay over 4 dinner

Dis how it happened:

Junior A2: Keje OK ker wanzue?

Me: OK (still OK)

Junior A2: Aku tgk biler ko keje ni semakin rosak jer. makin menjadi2. ko kaler rambut lagi ker?

Me: Ha ah. Obvious kan? ( I started 2 berserk, my missiles r about to lauch) x kan x nampak kot? (cynically)

POI pls, Junior A2 is da 'so-called' vvip in my community ie Malaysian Community of Old Trafford. First I saw him, he's like da middle-of-the-road type. But upon joining circles, tamrin watsoever, he begins 2 change. In a gud way I mean. He's now religious, reserved n more mature. I idoled him da most @ first, 4 his change makes him much better - a wiser person.

But its all 'Memori Daun Pisang' now!!!
My adulations r improverishing, tellin ya

Junior A2: ko tau kan bende tu salah?

Me: Tau (I was no longer in da cooking-licking-gud mood alredi. I stirred da boiling gravy grumpily..my heart is sizzling hot just like da gravy)

Junior A2: Abis tue kenape ko buat? Ko kan sekolah K***S dulu, x kan ko x blaja bende2 nih ?

Me: Ntah. saje ikut hati, aku buatlah (still trying 2 be moderate even I'm bout 2 burst)

Junior A2: Ikut hati mati !

Me: Kerana mulut badan binasa !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (dats it, u go babe)

Junior A2: Aku bukan ape. Dulu aku tgk ko baik je. Join usrah sumer. Patutnyer ko jadi lebey baik laa. aku nie just nak tegur @ nasihat jerr ( I totally 4got wat exactly da word he sed.its between those two)

Me: Okay. U done ur job. Thanks for being concerned (in my heart, yeah - u're rite!!) beckoning my inner-euss inside.

Junior A2: Ko x malu ker wat keje2 camnie? Ko tue ex-K***S, dulu join M*M, sedarlah sket ( I can even see he's smirking at me)

Me: (Cant help it) Wat.The.F....... Look, if u're coming 2 my house purposely 2 advice me on dis kind of way, im sorry mister. I think u got da wrong person, plus da wrong time. If u keep on insisting 2 proceed, wif all due respect, please get ur ass hell out of ere.

I went upstairs. Left da gravy half-cooked. which I assured da best way indicating, he's no longer welcome!!

_______________________________________________________

MY POINT IS:-

We tend 2 look down upon normal, social, huu haa type of person. We thot of da depictions dat their social life has taught them 2 b modern, 4 getting their roots, neglecting manners n politeness. I admit Junior A1, isnt really a gud person. An idly one. I didn't c him in any islamic circles or talks. He's simply immuned from all these.

But our MCOT VVIP, Junior A2, on da other hand, who been into circles (which I'm pretty sure Islam talks a lot on ethics particularly in approaching a person - Manahij Ad Da'wa) but wat he has done to me is totally 1)disgusting 2)uncivilised 3)ill-mannered n 4) simply unacceptable

now answer me, which one is polite?
which one deserve 4 my attention n praise?

I think, society must re-accessing their views on 'not-so-islamic' type of ppl. Perhaps we have sumting 2 learn from them. Dun just look 4 da bad apples. Some of da apples in da barrel r really mellowing, like Junior A1.
but junior A2, bcuz of him, I started 2 raise my hatredness 2 him n his clicks aka his usrah clan (even I know i'm not supposed 2 do so)
but true be told, 'kerana nila setitik rosak susu sebelanga' - u mess a thing, u mess it all

n its becuz of Junior A1 politeness, I decided 2 give him a hand 4 his project

Da MSSM ie Malaysian Student Society of Manchester is currently in need searching 4 sponsors 4 Manchester Games & Malaysian Nite. Those who know or who have known any potential sponsor(s) or willingly 2 contribute no matter how small, please visit

http://www.mssm.man.ac.uk/

or personally email

the.mssm@gmail.com

Sorilah dik. Abg bkn x nak sponsor, gaji pun x seberapa -grins- I'll help u out by all means neccessary. I'll try 2 talk 2 my company 2 look up 4 our fund raising.

CONCLUSION

• A little politeness goes a long way
• Dun be gullibled ie religious (or) (and) society leaders r not neccessarily well-manered
• Respect others as u want them 2 respect u. Respect can win da hearts, enraptures da minds BUT arrogant or 'macam bagus' kinda like attitude just drive u mad, raise no respect n even worst promote hatredness n abhor

Think bout it.

p/s: 2 non-malay speakers, ask me 4 translation. I'm not keen 2 translate those 2 english in order to preserve da originality of da discussion content took place.

"Repect ur neighbour 4 God shalt love u"

Peace =)

x

And Da Only Word I sed - I'm Sorry

Babe, (U know who u r)

4 da past few days, I've been living in a high sense of guilty...4 hurting sum1 I care da most. n its always be da case, I am hurt by hurting ppl. Babe, I know wat I've done is unbearable, n might be unforgivable. N I know I deserve not 2 b forgiven. Thus, I am not asking u 2 forgive me, all I ask, is 2 give me a chance 2 say I'm Sorry ... =(

I am Forever Yours ...

And The Only Word I Said - I'm Sorry


For all those time you stood by me

For all those time I made you wait

For all those time I broke your heart

For all those time I caused you hurt

For all those time I left you behind

For all those time you felt alone

For all those time I made you down

For all those time I made you sad

For all those time I left you lonely at nights

For all those time I ran away

For all those time I left you in the rain

For all those time I left you in pain

For all those time I walked out of your life

For all those time I failed to cherish this lovely gift

For all those time you cried without me

For all those time I felt unbearable of hurting you

And The Only Word I Said - I'm Sorry

I promised you to give the world, but its empty inside

I promised you to be by your side, but I'm running away

I promised you to make you smile, but I'm da one who makes you cry

I promised you to be your brother, but sometimes I could not bother

I promised you to protect you, but I disappeared when you need me most

I promised you to be your sunshine, but I came with a heavy pour

I promised you everything, but I can't do even a single thing

And The Only Word I Said - I'm Sorry

I am afraid to be your protector, for I'll let you go

I am scared to give you the world, for I'll fill up with tears and sorrow

I cant give you hope, fearing having you I couldn't cope

I want you to be happy, even most of the time I give you misery

And The Only Word I Said - I'm Sorry

Baby,

Having said these, I am left with nothing

Everytime I promised to give you everything

End up without a single thing

In the very end, there's something I am holding

A true heart ..... singing

Singing you my love and feelings

Forever everlasting

Fondly undying.





@ nites, I cry
0202 - 2 days after valentine

On Dat Note

Categories of creative writing, wif reference 2 da 'science fiction and fantasy writers of america inc', (http://www.sfwa.org/)

• epic: A work of 20,000 words or more
• novel: A work of 60,000 words or more
• novella: A work of at least 17,5000 words but under 60,000 words
• novellete: A work of at least 7,500 words but under 17,5000 words
• short story: A work of at least 2,000 words but under 7,500 words (1,000 words minimum by some definitions)
• Flash Fiction: A work of less than 2,000 words (1,000 by some definitions)

xxx

da composition I'm working on?

PhD: 300 pages wif 1 page of average count = +- 400 words

Epic: as above-outlined.

Total = God knows

which brings us 2 da calculations of:

Strength = Courage + Passion

Enemies = 13.5 tog queen size duvet + 8(huggable teddies) ... kantoi

Weapons = My personal I-Tunes list of songs + Youtubes + hot choc + choc chip ...yeay

Energy Consumption: Ermmmmmmmm

Reward: Dun wery, InsyaAllah Lillahi Ta'ala. (",)

God bless

=)

Wat -asignofthecreator- Has Achieved Within da Last 3 Days

Mood: Still missing my friends.

I dun know how did it happened. n still, I cudn't believe it. 4 heaven knows how.

I'm figuring wat spell on earth has been put thru my blog. But its just has da power 2 put impression 2 ppl dat my English is darn gud!!

Hell NO!!!

My English is just lame, ordinary n 'atas pagar' one. Shall I say more?

FACT 1:
I've been offered a PhD thesis editing/approving job by sum1 I known. If I agree 2 take da deal, he'll pay me 4 all da editing done.

Hoho. Surprising is it not?

Considering my killing-merciless working lifestyle at da mo, 2nd part time job wudnt suit me. But I've got no options left as da whole world know my long-term,unbeatable ongoing weakness is - lacking da strength to say NO!! or even in a more civilised way, "I'm sorry for I'm afraid I cant". Its just me 2 help those in need wif all da capabilities dat God has lent 2 me. n dere u go. Hundred (if not thousands) of submission pages awaiting. Roast my nuts 4 dinner, tellin' ya.

Funny enough - da thesis i'm working on got nothing 2 do wif me, neither wif my knowledge in law nor my experience in working.
"Simulation of acoustic partial discharge signal propagation in a model transformer and its usage for partial discharge location" - a thesis submitted 2 da University of Manchester 4 da degree of Doctor of Philosophy.

WTH !!! jaws-dropping

and dats not all

FACT 2:
Dis morning, as I logged in my frensta, a fren of mine's asking my help 2 translate 'buku panduan jabatan uitm'. from Malay version to English.
Cover 2 cover. aint joking ere ppl.
n b4 I cud even asked 'Why me?'
She wrote: 'English ko memang tak tahan'

Fullstop

FACT 3:
Yesterday, da very same person asked me 2 assist her in writing an epic telling da experience of studying in university to da Global Module Champlain College. Hence, u kinda like can imagine me being an English Teacher wif a red ballpoint on da hand -circling-crossing-underlining-arrowing etc

Dats it ppl, 3 part-time job offers in less than 3 f***ing days. Perhaps, I must start engaging wif caffein at nites, making my sleepless times 2 be bearable.

But I'm lovin' it 2 da max. 4 my passion now is on journalism n academic writing (after slowly 'reverting' from Law). I dun mind end up late at nite doing some editing n approving even translating for I believe it pays in da end.

Dats all 4 an update.

Truth b told, dere is sumting I want 2 share wif all u folks. an unforgettable moment of mine wif sum1 down da street nearby piccadilly dis noon.

Wat A Day !!!

x

After da Seventh Day ...

0023 in da morning

and its been raining since early afternoon.

My double-glazed windows are painted wif delicate pearls of water which ever constantly merge to from tiny, merry streams racing each other down 2 da panes.

I welcome da rain. I thank Lord 4 dis little miracle of His.




It was on 7 days b4, where all began. @ dat time, none of us had imagined how splendid da gath will b. Including me!! I thot it wud b just another ongoing social event wif -IHAB- &
-WANZUL-
I reached Stoddart House from a long tiring weekends @ Malaysia Hall. Greeted by Ihab n Wanzul, n by a new chap whom I never seen b4 -MIRUL- traversing all da way from Ukraine 4 his Europe Trip. He welcomed wif a smile & I reciprocated. da demarcation of geography never be a reason 4 us 2 break da silence.

Da expatriates of us thronged da table. Sharing - listening - learning - updating. For I felt its just a small world 4 us da humans 2 live on. God has destined dat we dun meet in our home country but in da land miles away - The Great Elizabethan Soil.

We still remember da funniest thing ever - how deceived n gullible WanZul was 4 a fren he didn't recognise. It was a complete furore, telling ya, as da burst explodes 2 every inch of da flat. da innocent mortal just happened to know -R GEN- who joined da Stoddart clan on da next day.

N dats wat we did. Filling da space wif laughters n jokes. Full of fun n blissful. We transformed da cramped flat of Stoddart House into a Chateaubrind of our own. I testify, none of a second went by where we felt left behind. We belonged 2 each other erasing da sense of alienation n da 'i'm-hollier-than-thou' enigma. Wondrously, it seems, da bond of frenship has been tied n sealed 4 ages 4 da fact we just met.

Until dis very moment, I boggle learning da miracle of dis.

Today, as I'm writing dis, I cud vignette all of our memories even unambigous - even we r separating 4 different paths in life, fighting 4 a survival, striving 4 a brighter future.

Sound n Clear.

Not even a bit is faded n blurred. To thou, I shall promise, da memory wud never decay, till da day I last see dis brandished earth.

To Ihab, WanZul, R-Gen n Mirul,

A Shakespere I am not, 4 I cant create da sweetest-most remarkable poem on earth ever made, 2 express my profoundest expressions of gratitude, how much all of u mean 2 me. (plus, I've been warned not 2 come out wif any melancholic eye-watering sayings 4 they will find it as a catastrophic emotional disturbance)

Perhaps thank you isnt sufficient enough 2 return all da kindness shown n given, but still allow me to

1) Thank you 4 da lovely Stoddart House

2) Thank you 4 da couch

3) Thank you 4 da bed

4) Thank you 4 da maggi me

5) Thank you 4 da London ride

6) Thank you 4 da few sips of Starbucks Coffee

7) Thank you 4 da toast

8) Thank you 4 da Boots' brownie

9) Thank you 4 da choc mousse

10) Thank you 4 da £1 bus fare

11) Thank you 4 da ears 2 listen

12) Thank you 4 da ideas given

13) Thank you 4 da few inhales of ciggies

14) Thank you 4 da mellowing chords of nite carols despite been warned countlessly by da conducter. LOL

15) Thank you 4 da blast fashion show

16) Thank you 4 da Rossa Dance featuring .............ops,cant say much. Ive been warned.Enough sed.

17) Thank you 4 da English Salad Pasta wif Roast Chicken n Chips.

18) Thank you 4 da Confession Nite of ours

19) Thank you 4 da Chinatown visit (ayam itik b*** bagai nih!!)

20) Thank you 4 da nite walk along River Thames

21) Thank you 4 da laugh

22) Thank you 4 da subtly smiles

23) Thank you 4 da remembrance

24) Thank you 4 da sharing n talking ...... gossiping?!?!

25) Thank you 4 accepting me 4 who I am

n da most important

26) Thank you 4 being dere when I need most.

Hugs n Kisses,

Your -WanZue-

Wherever You Go I Miss U So ...

Currently playing: Leaving on a Jetplane by Chantal Kreviazuk

Following Ihab's precedence of A-N-I, allow me 2 attribute dis blog 2 da persons who have made my London trip as da most memorable - touching and heart-attached visit ever.

-IHAB-

U're a hell of gud person. U try 2 be moderate n balance. 4 dat, I must respect U. Always remember dear, be urself is da only way, 4 ppl mite say watever they may ... but simply being u is da hardest price 2 pay. U know wats da best 4 u & u still strive knowing da path is deeply hard. Sumtimes, U mite slip along da way, but da more mistakes and errors we'll have will make us a better person if we learn. "They can do anything they want 2 u - if u let them in - but they wont ever win - if u cling 2 ur pride - and just push them aside".

Special Trademark:

Yaallah yallah. Ta'al Ta'al ya akh kareem. Keef Haal? =)

-WanZul-

Tiny built shape wif a big heart. A big spirit dat always believe we shud prevail no matter wat as we r so special in da way we r. For u'll realise - aiming da stars brings u no harm @ all, cuz if u fail, u r still above the others. Ur wisecracks n guffles wud alwiz put a smile on my lips. Just remember, being small, doesnt mean uncontestable. For Einstein shakes da world wif his E=MC2 , not with his small tiny appearance.

Special trademark:

Choyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ... iyah iyah iyah iyah

iyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

-R Gen-

Big guy wif bigger heart. Ur kindness n magnamity r 2nd to none. Ur presence makes us realise dat Stoddart House is just a flat larger than an atrium. For u fill up n ornate da space wif ur jokes n crackbrained ideas, but its all manouvre-less n full of sincere. n dats all matters !!! Never paste a crimmed downcast on ur cutie face, as da world is too big 4 us to enjoy. Its acceptable 2 live with others n reflect them in a way, but never damp da way-being-urself lurking n hoarding inside u.

Special Trademark:

I still remember da vietnamese n ur syurga idaman thingy, yeah =)

-MIRUL-

No matter wherever u r, or whomsoeva u r staying wif, u always have da rite 2 b happy. n none of dis entire human shall take dis rites from u. Hence, b happy as life is too short 4 a misery. Have a mind dat peaceful n conciliatory 4 da power of mind proven, able 2 conquer da world. Life wud never be tormenting. Its never a regret either. Its just lessons 4 us 2 learn n 2 improve. Time metamorphoses till da day we leave da world. Wats important isn't da past we drawn but da future we're bout 2 see. Chin up n never look back as da promising future is awaiting u,me and all of us.

Special Trademark:

It makes me think 2 accept da thumbrule of urs - suka sama suka ape salahnyerrr =)

Quoting Ihab "as much as I love you, I'll miss u even more".

Love loads,

xxx

O Heart, Be True ...

Here u go

A promised, awaited melancholic cry of my heart. Wif a piece of A4, a black ball-pen n a few cups of Mocha, I'm giving u ...



O Heart, Be True

It was only yesterday I saw you

And it's just today I am leaving you

How I am supposed to tell

All the misery, disruptions of hell

It was not started but from this friendship

In it, my love and concern blossom so deep

But my heart wasn't true

As I regard you more than a friend like the others do

I feel bad - my heart is sad

For my mind goes mad

For the price I have to pay

For the love I couldn't say

For the sleepless nites I undergone

Waiting the true to blow its horn

For we can't be together

As apart from me, there is someone better

Leaving in your house feels like a mouse

For I am scared to be the real me

For the disappointment of hope I can see

O God

Why ye crete Fate

For the one who is born with a very low estate

Why ye crete de feelings

For it haunts and makes me daunting

and

Why ye crete de sense of loving

Knowing this person I am loosing

I freak and I cry

For the truth I cant deny

Up low I am searching the strength

But the road is still far and length

How I wish to close my eyes

and to heart I tell, its all lies

But my dream says its all true

For the one I love is only you

Shame on you dear heart

For making us both fall apart

For every nite I refuse to dream

Fearing my hope will melt like a cream

I wish to quit life

To heaven I shall drive

But its not that I cant leave

Loosing you as a perfect gift

Why I am into you?

Whilst wondering whether you love me too

Bewitched - You the only one

For the rest of my life, my heart will hunt

As my life is like a dice

but never turn out nice

all in all

I just want you to know

My love to you will always grow

For everything I do

I wish could paint the real you

For seeing your smile

I would run a thousand mile

Take care my love

As I'll be flying with the dove

Bringing our hope and dream together

Never fade dilute for ever



xxx



After a hard consideration between Michael Bolton and Kenny Rogers, I came to a verdict dat da song of 'Have I Told You lately That I Love You' sang by Rod Stewart wud be best to listen whilst reading dis poem.
To listen, please click http://youtube.com/watch?v=0UkIM1WqCi0

And tell me wat u think

SOS SOS SOS SOS

Currently playing "Take Me Home Country Roads" by John Denver

4 less than 3 hours, I'll be leaving 2 London ... Got some officials 2 attend plus weekends' personal leisures.
As I'll b away, I cant guarantee 2 get online as I'll b fully boked n bz over few days. (but i'll bring my laptop just in case)
Shud u need 2 reach me, do email & ring. I'll get back 2 u @ da soonest I can
Hence, my blog will be hiatus untill further notice (dun wery honey bunny, abg pergi x lama - kekanda berkelana sepurnama saja) sigh

Errrrrrrrrrrr ................

Guys, I'm currently in a bit of a quandary & I need ur help (nothing much really, but means a lot to me)

Actually .......................

I kinda like falling in L*** wif sum1 but I dun know whether dis feeling is true. N dat person dun know either s a matter of fact. I'm scared 2 tell da person as I'm afraid losing da frenship. We've been buddies 4 ages & God knows how intimate we are. I want 2 tell dis mortal how much dis person means 2 me, but I cant ... just cant!!

God knows

N 4 da pass sleepless nites, I've been thinking 2 write a poem describing wat I feel n I wudnt mind, 2 b honest, posting such true feelings in ere

4 dat I need a show of hands, please

POLL: Izzit OK if I write da most -sincere, -tragic tales, -complicated, -impossible volatile roulette wheel of destiny of mine in dis blog ???

Kindly leave ur opinioon

To London I Go



xxx

I'm joining ... Count me in

Calling one, calling all! Defend your right to free speech!

This is the official statement of Bloggers United. This statement is jointly drafted by Susan Loone and Sheih of Kickdefella. All those who believe in justice and right to free speech, please sign on and put this up in your blogs. Spread it around; let it grow far and wide. The fight is on! See also Susan Loone.


BLOGGERS UNITED CONDEMN ACTION AGAINST ROCKY & JEFF & DEMAND LEVEL PLAYING FIELD in ALL ACTION AGAINST BLOGGERS


We, Malaysian bloggers, we, who believe in justice and right to free speech, we, who endorse the Bloggers United movement, unanimously condemn the action taken by media conglomerate NST against bloggers Rocky Bru and Jeff Ooi. The action by the newspaper against the duo is an action against all bloggers who believe in their right to free speech, freedom of expression and justice.


The recent event may seem like a grave development in the path of bloggers, but it can never and must never impede or stop us from defending our right to speak, to express, to write and to tell the truth, to be the watchdog, eyes and ears of the people, or simply to share our view, and give fair comment on any subject which involves and affects us as humans, as rightful citizens of this country.


The recent event may very well give the government owned media the opportunity to dictate the so-called ‘truth” but such actions only prove that bloggers must unite, continue to uphold the right to free speech and freedom of expression, fight for justice, even if it is not our own, be more alert, committed to the cause of free speech, relentless and persistence in the face of such persecution like the one which had befallen on the two of us.


What YOU do to any of US, is what YOU do to ALL.


As responsible bloggers, we demand and claim our space on the blogosphere for free and fair comment, where important national issues and prominent personalities are discussed.


Although it may seem as if the NSTP defamation suits will have a chilling effect on freedom of bloggers, as litigation can be expensive and may jeorpadise a blogger’s economic position, we will not be cowed or silenced by those who have no regard for free speech.


If you find our post offensive, you may refute us with correct facts and figures and fair comment, in the spirit of free speech.


The first two cases will have grave impact not only on the internet, but country as a whole as the country celebrates VMY2007. The healthy, mature and democratic growth for free speech and expression in our midst is at stake. The reputation of the nation as it strives to promote our multimedia supercorridor and love for IT will be a national joke for all the world to feast on.


We demand for a level playing field in all action meted out to bloggers and in particular in the defamation proceedings particularly in terms of financial resources and capabilities, and secondly, that the legal rights of bloggers et al are properly protected in keeping with the imperatives of an information society and knowledge economy which Malaysia aspires to become.


For further information, please contact blogger susan loone at susanloone@gmail.com and sheih at kickdefella@yahoo.com



From the Admin:
I am hereby to declare that asignofthecreator is joining Bloggers United. Hands to Hands, Shoulder to Shoulder. Asignofthecreator will uphold fredom of speech & expression and wud not tolerate if such rights be violated without any reasonable justifications.
Asignofthecreator would like to apologise to all viewers for not linking Malaysia's News Straits Time untill further notice (depending how da nstp will 'behave' in producing reliable, independent, impartial reports). I do appreciate the inconveniences caused but I wont tolerate to any 'yes man' idealism and movement in this blog.

Let God's Love Unite Us All

XXX

Wat In The Name of Democracy Is Dat?!?!

U NSTP nuts tell me

U kill Freedom of Speech in the name of your a**'s democracy

I quote excerpts from Malaysiakini

http://www.malaysiakini.com/news/62257

Ahirudin Attan and Jeff Ooi have been served with different suits relating to blog posts in their respective websites............
The lawyer who served the notice to Ahirudin represented News Straits Times Press (NSTP), its deputy chairperson Kalimullah Hassan, chief executive officer Syed Faisal Albar, group editor-in-chief Hishamudin Aun and former group editor Brendan Pereira.
“They have cited 48 postings considered defamatory and are seeking an injunction against my blog......" Ahirudin quipped.
In Nov 2006, Ahirudin and Jeff were embroiled in controversy with NSTP when they revealed that a column in the New Straits Times on Oct 30 under group editor Brendan Pereira’s by-line bore a strong resemblance in style and structure to a column by Mitch Albom in the Detroit Free Press of Sept 10, 2006.

NSTP was reported, to file legal action against Jeff Ooi and Ahirudin Atan for defamation over series of entries in Ooi's Screenshots and Atan's Skybru, allegedly, slandering top figures of the Malaysia's largest media group.

Both Ooi and Atan's actions will be heard separately at KL High Court on Jan 30 and Jan 25.

As the suit is yet to take place, I can't exactly reveal the nature of the dispute.(thesedays, we ought 2 b extremely wary watever b***** words spelt out by our lips). But it is believed, to be related to controversials surrounding the departure of former NSTP Group Editor, Brendan Pereira. He's been alleged by the bloggers of committing plagiarism before leaving the company. Both Pereira and NST denied such claim and stressed dat his departure got nothing to do with plagiarism watsoeve.

Also,

They had constantly submit in their article dat "...Brendan (Pereira)...as a...key spin-doctor for PM Abdullah Ahmad Badawi,...will only do the right thing for a living..."
(the question is - is dat defamatory in its nature?)

Now ppl, lets do sumting legal ere

Under the Law of Defamation (s far s I can remember) -smirking-

1) An individual can sue for damage to their reputation caused by material broadcast or published 2 a 3rd party, which includes online.
I submit - clearly understood

2) Any living individual or company can sue s long s they r reasonably identifiable from wat is said n the material is defamatory on them. Dis means dat it wud tend 2 lower them in da estimation of ritw-thinking people generally
I submit - Can sum1 properly explain how key-spin doctor came 2 exist?

3) The claimant doesn't need to show dat they suffered actual damage, nor dat wat was said was false. On the contrary, the defendant generally has to prove dat was true.
I submit - analysing dis, the claimants NSTP & Brendan have a gud case since Ooi's and Atan's statement 'key-spin doctor', in da eyes of a reasonable man, degrading and humiliating him. Breandn wudn't have 2 prove dat those r true, suffice to prove dat his reputation has been tarnished s a result of dat statements.

4) If invloved in an action 4 defamation, dere r number of possible defences, but generally u will need to have a gud evidence 2 back up wat u say.
I submit - it wud be hard 4 da defence team 2 shield if they can't really prove dat Brendan has a special 'affair' wif Prime Minister Abdullah Ahmad Badawi. Plus ... da plagiarism thingy has to be proven on the balance of probabilities.

Moreover, according 2 my personal YO (lol ... applaud 2 Shahril Hamdan), living in a closed-sealed-system back home open da doors of speculaton n heresays, n no doubt might lead 2 public outcry. "We don't get access 2 files pertaining 2 govt projects, we can't b revealed how politicians get their funds."
(shahril, I quote u with proper reference tau. Jgn u sue I plak.)


It simply flashes our minds back when sum1 accuses KJ of corruption when he obtains his ECM Libra Shares. We cudn't even know whether dat sum1's accusation stands correctly or merely theories.
(FYI- dat sum1 isnt really mean sum1 literally. He is a 'somebody' extraordinary, unbelievale,iron-man figure in the country. =) I bet the Malaysians wud know him. At least.)

In my opinion, in an open society, we shud let criticism and expression flows. Perhaps, in a suttle way, both Jeff and Ahirudin were expressing their thoughts over da relationship of PM n Brendan. Dats wat they believe based from their own views.
So why be bothered?

At da same time, the Government, especially PM wud always be feel-free 2 counter dat expresion and prove dats not true. The public will judge based on da facts disclosed.Like wat he encounters on Endorgan's claim about his (PM) another 'affair' with da 6th richest man in Asia Ananda Krishnan. We da commoners aren't stupid.

OMG. Sumhow it reminds me to a really hot juicy-juicy case of da 2 Datuks. Datuk Syarifah Aini v Datuk Siti Nurhaliza. Its about defamation too with few distinctive facts with da current.

Da public shud be given more avenues 2 express their thoughts n conscience. No doubt, sumtimes it hits da nose of da big officials of da country, but ideas n minds shud be expressed n flowed. Y fear if u r with da truth?

Meanwhile, having said dat,on balance, it doest give da public a greenlight dat they cud arbitarily placing random, base-less criticism(s). It wud be immature, I wud say, 2 allege sum1 or sumting without having any substantials 2 support with. We aren't like Cik Bedah or Joyah at Kampungs selling hot sizzling stories without seeing with their own eyes. We r an intellect society aren't we? I call myself n others crusade members 2 always back up our arguments n thoughts wif facts n evidence otherwise our fight n spirit will b regarded as a total farce and a complete fiasco.

2 Jeff n Ahirudin:
Rest assured. Da truth will always prevail no matter wat as true democracy will never die. Feel disheartened be not as God loves da truth and protect da truth amongst us. If u need financial assistance 4 ur suit, dere u go. Hundreds of us alredi asking ur bank accounts n details. Just tell us and we get it sorted. U never walk alone s dere b hundreds behind ur back. .. Even we not physically b with u (like me), our prayers n blessings traverse da ocean and soil 2 call ur success.

To fellow socio-political bloggers (like me??) abroad n locally:
Lets stand up, holding our hands in solidarity, give our support 2 Ahirudin n Jeff. Give all wat U can. Lets make an action peeps n end dis polemic manouvres; becuz its not 4 us, but 4 da country dat we love and 4 da future generation dat we care ...

will keep u updated...

XXX

Sum International Headlines: With da courtesy from Jeffooi.com




SOURCE: Associated Press via International Herald Tribune, Jan 18, 2007

SOURCE: Reuters India, Jan 18, 2007

SOURCE: BBC News Chinese, Jan 18, 2007

SOURCE: Al-Jazeera English, Jan 18, 2007

SOURCE: Yahoo!/Kyodo News, Jan 18, 2007

A Brite Wednesday ... Hurrah

Currently playing Seasons in The Sun

Just a quickie 2 share sumting really memorable with all u readers.

Its a brite sunny Wednesday 2day. Really fine day.
As I traversed the streets and parks, I tilted upwards and viewed da borderless sky.Wide.
The sun shines high in da sky. Da skies r clear blue. Birds chirping in a mellowing seething melody. Makes me perpetuated a while

T-H-I-N-K-I-N-G

How beauty da world dat God has created for us da mortals?
n yet we forget n go astray

My heart resiliently flies (4 a moment) back home. The very same day wud be different back then. Raining and showering mercilessly. Resulting in frustration n misery. Feeling despondency of hope upon knowing da city is awashed away within days. I feel sorry to all the 'act-of-God's bearers. No doubt,it must be hard on them. Less Food,no place to stay apart in a cramped public foyer. May The Force Be With You.
I wish I'm dere to give my little hands. May God hears me and them. AMEN.

I will now take dis stage to give my profoundest expressions of gratitude to God 4 everything He has made to me. I thank Him for His Mercy and His Clemency beyond all compare, 4 letting me get dis far, despite dat I have not been very good to Him in da past.

To Ye O Lord, I Seek Repentence ...


p/s Only now I know why da Brits do really appreciate nice weathers. For less than 10 hours, 3 of them bumped to me n sed
"Isnt da weather nice dear?"
"Its a lovely day innit?"
"Wat a wonderful day,wud u say so?"
n fyi, L-O-V-E-L-Y have been heard it 4 more than 10 times alredy 2day

dats all for now.

Gud nite n sweet dreams to all.

xxx

Titleless ...

I admit
Sometimes in the past ...



and




undeniably blatantly true

but

I hope may 2007 and ahead

to unlimited bliss and tranquil

to the only Lord I pray

searching and looking,

xxx

Ushering 2007 ...

Dear all,


As promised, I outline my 2007 Reso. Nothing much really. Its just on building my personality (niu branding I mean) into more comprehensive, constructive n intellectual. I want 2 create a brand new Zokhrie, wif a niu look and niu feel. But all in all, I hope 2007 wud be a destination dat dere will be no sadness, separation and pain.


wallaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa


As I type dis, I dun know wat future lies ahead on me. I dun know either, wats awaiting me in da years to come. I seriously have no idea wud I be able to feel da "self-made" heaven of mine where dere will be no sadness, separataion and pain.
But wat wud I only know and believe "4 da battle will never end till da day we leave da world, let us pray n live 4 a very happy everlasting ending" (kudos to AAR)


so, dere u go:
For 2007, I want da niu Zokhrie Idris to be/to have/to feel (delete when appropriate) ....


1) attractive personality - (hmmmmmmm)

2) affectionate

3) shy & reserved - ala2 lelaki melayu terakhirlaaaaaa katanyerrrrrrrr

4) sensative to others' belief,principle & feelings - Vince wud like dis

5) more honest, generous n sympathetic

6) love, peace n serenity - searching n looking still

7) aggresive - in a gud way, but never provoke me when i'm boiling hot (u've been warned!!)

8) love to help - every little helps (da middle class brits wud know)

9) not easily angered - so far im progressing well

10) more trustworthy - 50/50....cuz true gossipers will never be trustworthy. lol

11) more appreciative & return kindness - working hard

12) more observant n assess ors - a lot ... i'm a gud mind reader ya knoe

13) less dreaming & less fantasizing - durrrrr does da former really exists? -sigh-

14) get attention - =) u read it rite dear

15) musically talented - dying of learning to play piano

16) less moody n hardly hurt - come on bebeh, no more 'pms' 4 u dis year =)

17) a giving lover - as in wat?!?!?!?! -blushing-

18) loyal - 2 whom? nges nges nges -smirking-

19) deep thinker - thinking da unthinkable...whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

20) feel deeply (emphasis added)

21) romantic - D-I-S-G-U-S-T-I-N-G innit?

22) Love to be loved

23) Gud Muslim - enough sed

24) da end


n yours???!!!!!!!

AULD LANG SYNE: 2006 IN MEMORY (Pt 2)

8) I lost my big bro n God sent me another BIG BRO. Love u bro



9) I finally find myself

10) My Malaysian Idol has finally wed

11) I discovered L-I-F-E is too short 2 b worried n da W-O-R-L-D is too large 2 b explored.

12) I realise n adhere to few rules of me own
- tak nak sudah
- org x nak kita pun tak hingin
- carpe diem aka seize da day
- Aja Aja Fighting
- I'm here 4 a reason
- Teman Tp Mesra
- My Life My Rules ... x suka aku pedulik ape?
- Politics Suck - Curse all da politicians

13) found a niu lepak* port in ST16 IHB.
( 4 privacy purposes, i only disclose da postcode of my 2nd home ...karang jd controversial plak)

14) Tried S-M-O-K-I-N-G .. Seriuosly shit OK. dat 'merokok nie cam best jer' kinda thing. but I think its not 4 me. I felt nothing.no adrenaline rush.no high.no feel-gud tingling in da spine watsoeva. just some smoke filling up my lungs.BORING.one thing it did give me was one helluva cough n I gave cigarettes up.

15) I met sum1 which i scared 2 b myself (fear of loosing my frenship) -konflik dalaman lagi-

16) Me self-claiming being a M-E-T-E-R-O-S-E-X-U-A-L lol

17) Got my 1st job in Deansgate which brings me to get my 1st pay in my life. hurrah.rejoice.


18) I first time did my manicure treatment. ha ha. jgn x tau,dah pandai simpan kuku nih! insap laa zack oi

19) Stranded @ Derby Train Station on Niu Yer Eve. reason being - rail workers on strike - sigh

20) da reason why i'm still living is because i keep on fighting!! n they can try but they cant take dat away from me!!


so dats basically it...



wat am I looking 4ward in my next chapter of life?
wats my 2007 resolution?
Surprise surprise
i'll write soon ... with my 2007 reso.



now, am damn blurred n confused on saddam hussein's execution. Why did it happened on Muslim's special day? Have da americans n da arabs loose their reasonable minds? Bloody Idiots!!

*Lepak = hang out

Ushering 2007,
xxx

AULD LANG SYNE: 2006 IN MEMORY

Currently playing Auld Lang Syne

I'm back from my winter hols. Not really a vacation but a group binding gathering. Loads of troubles, utterly took place but I cudn't be bothered. After all, its Niu Yer n we shud close 2006 curtain with smile n laughter. 2 b honest, 2006 brings me loads of things to discover, many experience to feel, plenty lessons to gain n many subjects to learn. I mean life-subject(s). If I had to write a book, revealing my life journey in 2006, it'll end up with long-series of volumes and hundreds, if not thousands chapts.

Over all, 2006 witnesses:

1) My final year of studying (n wif all praise due 2 him, I gained LL.B (Hons) 4 da 3 year battle.








2) My ala-ala first crush in da uk (nearly laaaa)





3) Me quit from MSM n joined MISG. Lol. but things r going well I assure u! =)


4) 4 da 1st time in da UK juniors address me Abg Wann (auwwwwwwwww ... isnt dat sweet?)


5) My 1st time clubbing (keh keh keh)








6) the successful Malaysian Nite in Manchester n me dancing Zapin (wot the heck)



7) I met a nice English Mate n made me found out a world of an atheist.





7) Me with my English-look-wannabe (LOL)





2 b continued ...

Wat X'mas Means 2 U ...

Guys, wat do u think?


X'mas Is All About:

[X] Friends n Family / Quality Time


[ ] Giving & Receiving (Prezzies!!)


[ ] Religion


[ ] Someone else Religion!


[ ] Commercialism


[ ] Tradition


[ ] Humanity


[ ] Others : please specify


p/s. "X" refers to wat x'mas means to me. Others, wat say ye?

An Evening With MPP: A Disappointment

Dear all


Hope u had a nice weekends.


I feel 2 draw ur attention in regards to a weekend with Mesian MPP and UKEC. The fact dat not every1 of us had da chance to experience the meeting, I feel much obliged to share the experience we underwent for others to review and for us to ponder upon.

Da meeting was indeed a half-success. Truly I didnt really enjoy every single minute it went as it was fixed, rigid, less freedom and full of fiascos. I was been given da impression dat Firdaus n Iedil will conduct the meetiing be with da presentation and dialogues. It was come to my surprise dat an elderly-impolite-irrespectable MSD officer took control da whole evening. n telling ya, it was a bizarre. a complete nuts. They were too offensive, didnt let da idea flows naturally from us .. plus .. defensive. Every points we tried to convey been cut off without due respect.


Peeps,


I'm currently in a bit of a quandary, but I need ur help ere


Do u utterly believe dat cutting off someone's conversation without due respect is tolerable?

n 4 heaven's sake, dats wat happening to us.

wats da point off seeking suggestion if u cant identify da root of da probs? (sket2 cadangan..brape byk cadangan entah) grrrrrrrrrr


through out da whole discussion, I felt da whole universe was a spinning hotchpotch of blurred stars. n i remained silent n still 4 da first preliminary rounds.


n I think, the MPP are not equally represented. I've been told by one of da delegates dat they were selected to be in da trip. and some of them r not even da presidents and in the line-up committees. Been chosen solely on da basis of sharing da same aspiration.


wot da heck?!

can sum1 tell me wats going on?


Howeva, we contributed some percentage of da flaw.


Since da meeting was called in short notice, every1 of us came without doing homeworks (or initial research if u like). It results us having less-supporting info about da topics we debated.

I recall one of our members (Mr R) - R bukan nama sebenar - did not realise he made a false accusation by saying dere's no free newspaper distributed back in Mesia. Honestly i dun know either. but by simply say it blatantly,without asking, it shows how ignorant are we bout wats happening in our country. Probably on some subconscious level, we poured a flammable liquid into da burning fire. We put a shame on ourselves 4 not following da country's development.

In future, I hope, dis inconsistensies shudnt happen again. We shud be more careful in choosing our words and be accurate at pointing out da issues. Da council believes dat Mesian studs in the UK have loads of package to offer to our country. We are da future world-class leader (God's willing). We shud embark training ourselves to think, to speak, to debate, to criticise like a world class leader. (tumpang promote ain's coming PAN) We shud no more asking irrelevant question(s), stating facts without concrete evidence or simply making false accusation.

Also

I notice, we shud put our emotional behind our rationale. I know u passed a test of endurance three quarter of da event, but shud u keep it till da end, it wud be brilliant for all of us. We must never let emotion controls over our wisdom of minds. Future leaders r trained 2 control their anger and channel it thru da appropriate way
"Invite to the way of your Lord with wisdom and fair preaching, and argue with them in a way that is better. Verily, your Lord knows best who has gine astray from His path, and He is the Best Aware of those who are guided" -16:125-
(firdaus, iedil pasnie blh lah lantik aku sbg mursyidul am UKEC) lol


Concomitantly, I'm not pointing at any1, but its for our own gud. enw, students do make mistakes. Dis is da best time 4 us 2 make errors provided we learn soon we discovered da truth. I do expect mistakes done by a student rather than by a politician cuz dis da very age we learn and we explore, to cherish and to adore what life is all about. n even we do make mistake,I bet it will be da best guidance in our future ahead. Do remember - experience is da best teacher in da world!


Sorry guys 4 taking too much of ur attention. I hope i'm not being rigorous to any1 ere. Just had da thought to share. "sharing is caring,caring is loving" katanyerrrrrrrrrr.

plus ...


dis wud be my report to da council since I wont be getting my travel reimbursement if i dun produce a report. so firdaus, can I have my reimbursement now?

Disclaimer notice: da council shall not be held responsible 4 all da points i've stated. all views and opinions expressed ere are personally mine n do not reflect da views and standpoint of UKEC n its members!!

U've been warned ...

roger n out



"Berkhidmat untuk UKEC".


Yours sincerely,
Z I


as usual, PICS 4u

me,KUSMA n azlan at the Man United

from da left; mysterious gal,eric,shoba,mysterious guy n danny. they r da USM MPP

me n azlan soaibah da UMS MPP

da moment been waiting 4 aka sesi memakan umpan.

Phewww ... Wot A Relieve !!

Hello, its Zackie again ...

Perhaps, we shudnt take dis too lightly. These days da world is no longer a safe place to stay. Its full of diseases, epidemics n illnesses.

Upon hearing below, I feel much relieved. Sumhow it reduces my worries n fear when making long calls* with family n frens. Well I believe dats 1 gud thing living in the UK. With 1000 off-peaks free minutes a month, u'll end up locking urself in bedroom, talking laughing crying with da loved ones.. (opsss sape tuh?)

I welcome 4 more recent studies n researches about da matter. Surely, it wud be pointless not to disclose da facts if they r truly damaging our life.

n one more thing,

I dun know y i'll be easily touched upon hearing n knowing C-A-N-C-E-R. My eyes wud brimming in tears realising sum1 died of cancer..its becuz he or she was in a helpless state despite modern technology of medicine coming to existence.

but

honestly 2 day I feel so down. n I cud understand y

Sape suruh hang gatai merelaa pi tgk Stairway To Heaven? (aka CheonKuKui Gyedon)

Yeah, I've watched da korean movie. 3 nites in a row mate!!! No joking. Sedey nak mum-push ok!! Surprisingly I found myself less crying watching da movie, but when I woke up in da next morning, my pillows r wet with tears.

I'll definitely put a review on dis series.

I'll Follow You Wherever The Place You May Go. Be It Heaven,

Z I

*4 my non-malay speaking buddies, long calls r commonly known as "bergayut" in our country.

enjoy,

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Study disputes cell phone-cancer link

By LAURAN NEERGAARD, AP Medical Writer Tue Dec 5, 4:00 PM ET

WASHINGTON - A huge study from Denmark offers the latest reassurance that cell phones don't trigger cancer. Scientists tracked 420,000 Danish cell phone users, including 52,000 who had gabbed on the gadgets for 10 years or more, and some who started using them 21 years ago.

They matched phone records to the famed Danish Cancer Registry that records every citizen who gets the disease — and reported Tuesday that cell-phone callers are no more likely than anyone else to suffer a range of cancer types.

The study, published in the Journal of the National Cancer Institute' name National Cancer Institute, is the largest yet to find no bad news about the safety of cell phones and the radiofrequency energy they emit. But even the lead researcher doubts it will end the debate."There's really no biological basis for you to be concerned about radio waves," said John Boice, a Vanderbilt University professor and scientific director of the International Epidemiology Institute in Rockville, Md. "Nonetheless, people are."

So Boice and colleagues at Copenhagen's Danish Cancer Society plan to continue tracking the Danish callers until at least some have used the phones for 30 years. This so-called Danish cohort "is probably the strongest study out there because of the outstanding registries they keep," said Joshua Muscat of Pennsylvania State University, who also has studied cell phones and cancer.

"As the body of evidence accumulates, people can become more reassured that these devices are safe, but the final word is not there yet," Muscat added

Cell phones beam radiofrequency energy that can penetrate the brain's outer edge, raising questions about cancers of the head and neck, brain tumors or leukemia. Most research has found no risk, but a few studies have raised questions. And while U.S. health officials insist the evidence shows no real reason for concern, they don't give the phones a definitive clean bill of health, either, pending long-term data on slow-growing cancers.

For the latest study, personal identification numbers assigned to each Dane at birth allowed researchers to match people who began using cell phones between 1982 and 1995 with cancer records. Among 420,000 callers tracked through 2002, there were 14,249 cancers diagnosed — fewer than the 15,001 predicted from national cancer rates. Nor did the study find increased risks for any specific tumor type.