~ To All My Female Frens ~

Currently playing: Beautiful by Punkd1


Following Minci (thanks dear, u're my source of inspiration) n on commomerating da Belated International Women's Day which took place sumwhere last week, I'm writing a letter 2 all of my female frens who have come 2 my life till dis very moment I breath.


Dear Female Frens,

I wished I've told all of u about dis sooner but dere was never a gud time 4 me 2 say it. Plus, I'm scared 2 hurt u by bursting all da larva which been kept boiling 4 ages deep inside my volcano heart. Take dis 2 da heart cuz I've no intention 2 hurt u, but for telling da truth; nothing da truth but only the truth.



To My Female Frens Who Left,

Did I hurt You? Have I offended u in anyway? Let me know. Allow me 2 fix it. Ask m dat question if its an answer dat u seek. Why did u leave me just like dat? Did I not treat u as a gud fren? Wat were U not happy about?

Wat Wud U ..... (inspired by Amanda)

"I would close my eyes. And pretend that we're alright. And thinking that we're still together. I would try to free. From the battles all inside me. When every wrong seems so right. Are we better off as friends. I don't think we understand. Words that cut so deep left on the way. What would you say to me. If we have never met before. If I still feel the way I do. I would sing a song. If that's what you hope to hear. A melody is but a minor. All the nights above. Sharing each other. Chasing cars in a cycle"


(I cud feel warm liquid merry streams racing each other down my cheeks)




To My Female Frens Who Have Drifted Away,

Why izzit dat I feel dat we have grown apart? Why do u have 2 strengthen da myth dat if a single male fren will loose all his frenships n frens once he's seeing sum1 new? Don't u know dat I may still need u 4 advice n comfort? Have I changed tremendously eversince I'm in a relationship?

I just wanna u 2 know, no matter wat happens, Frens R Forever. Its not built upon status - whether u r single or non single.




To My Female Frens Who Always Used Me ...
(4 watever reasons such s 4 Religion n da'wa, in study, 4 my money ... etc ... )

I forgive U. I'll try (@ least). Even da wound is still bleeding inside. I'll try 2 heal it. yeah, by meself. Even da scar will remain everlastingly. I' ve been thinking n asking, why r u doing dis 2 me? Did I give u any harm in ur previous life dat lead u 2 pay dis 'merciless' revenge in my current life?

I just wish I'll b da very last person 4 ur 'heartless' action. Please stop doing dis 2 others as it hurts deeply n severely. In da end, ppl will learn 2 hate u and u'll be left alone. God knows how hard one's trying 2 cope after been deceived badly. by a devil with an angel look.





To My Female Frens Who Starting 2 Hate Me,

Please DONT. becuz I cud feel u hate like a bitter cold of da nite. Its da worse ever punishment dat U cud ever give 2 me. Tell me, izzit worth punishing me just beciz I turn up not in da way u expected? Am I deserved 2 b punished just becuz me want being myself? Is sum1 punishable on da grounds he isnt able to opt out - race, religion,belief, way of life or even his sexual orientation? Or izzit da reason I cant be in love wif u justify ur action 2 leave n hate me?


(sobbing ...)

I who adored u, who thinks of u as a perfect fren any1 cud asked 4. I'm sorry 4 da pain I've caused u. I dun mean 2 hurt u, but I cant take it anymore.




To My Female Frens Who Starting 2 Fall 4 Me,

Please DONT. Just DONT. Befriend me just 4 da sake of being frens. Nothing more, nothing else. Treat me s a fren for i'll treat u s my world.
And please dun put any ope I'll fall in love wif u just because I treat U more than any1 else cud do. As I said, be my fren, and I'll be ur world. Do not ruin our frenship 4 I like just da way it is.








To My Female Frens Who Always Being Dere,
especially in da time I need da most.

No matter wat, whoever u r,whenever and wherever, I LOVE U.
No matter how far da distance keeps us apart, U r always in my mind and heart.
I thank you 4 ur presence thru thick and thin, thru da stormy weather of my life we've sailed 2gether.

As Much As I Love U, I'll Miss U Even More.

All in all, I adore all of my female frens. May our frenship lasts and stay pure from any conflicts and misunderstandings. U gurls complete me !!!

'Kerna Dirimu Begitu Berharga'

Yours truly,

Zack Idris

xxx

Ambition v Passion

Mode: Still in cluttered mind.


Subconsciously, life cudn't be fair for us da microscopic mortals.

We might have encountered moments where we accidentally obtained da things we dun really want, but on the other hand, failed to grab da dreams we r truly dying for.

How irony.

Perhaps, lawyering job isn't 4 me

Perhaps, I shud have taken Law & History

Perhaps, I shud have minored in journalism

Perhaps, I shud have pursued my piano lesson since I was twelve

Perhaps, I shud have applied 4 Tele broadcasting trainee

Perhaps, I shud resume studying history untill doctorate level.


Granted, U mite say, being a self-sponsored stud makes ur career options widened. n u can explore more choices n flavours. How true. But truth be told, it also leads 2 a prob (of mine) -
the uncertainties in life

Have u ever felt da enthusiasm of 'i-wanna-do-dis-wanna-do-dat' but u dun know where 2 start wif???

or

a morale battle where ur parents want u 2 b a commercial solicitor but u dun give a crap being dat??? n ur quandary state of mind has made u feel damn inferior 2 handle.

If I cud just have endow da strength 2 tell me mum:

"Mak, I dun want to take my bar*. Im applying 4 Media Prima Talent-Pro Trainee Programme"

I wonder.

which brings me 2 justify da reasons I'm backing off from law:-

who gives a shit how an aggrieved party cud apply 4 promissory estoppel?

who gives a damn 2 examine da loss resulted from the 'Act of God?

who gives a crap 2 Lord Hoffman's guidance 2 prove whether a company's director has acted in good faith?

who gives a flying f**k to 'deserted wife's equity' n why was it rejected by the House of Lords in National Provincial Bank Ltd v Ainsworth [1965]?

whoever said dat I want 2 be a f**kin lawyer after saying all these.

On top of dat, I just cud feel being a lawyer doesn't make sense if u're 2 help ppl. Ever heard of no money,no claim?! 4 now, I managed 2 break myself from being keep on indoctrinated on 'da holiness n greatness being a lawyer'.

Amongst other things I've been brainwashed b4 :-

I wanna b a lawyer 2 admin justice

I wanna b a lawyer 2 fight corruptions

I wanna b a lawyer 2 save da injusticed chap

I wanna b a lawyer 2 defend da innocent mortal

I wanna b a lawyer 2 help da agrieved party

I wanna b a lawyer 2 change da law 4 a better living

Telling ya, its all bulls***s.

Nowadays lawyers (most of them) dun speak as they were used to be. They no longer seek justice, love mercy n walk humbly wif God. Da muslim lawyers (some of them) on d other hand, fail 2 observe da verses of

'Verily! Allah doth command thou to render back your trusts. To those to whom they are due; And when ye judge between people that ye judge with justice; Verily how excellent is the teaching which He giveth you! For Allah is He Who heareth and seeth all things' {The Women:58}

'O ye who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses. To God, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich and poor. For Allah can best protect both. Follow not da lusts (of your hearts), lest ye swervr, and if ye distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily God is well-acquainted with all dat ye do. {The Women:135}

Da Christian lawyers (mostly) no longer demonstrate God's character through its love n justice, neither be inspired by the call of da prophets Amos 5, Isaiah 3 n Micah 6:8

Lest they forget

"I'll lead da blind ... along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn da darkness into light b4 them and make the rough places smooth... I will not forsake them {Isaiah 42:16}

"For this is the covenant that I'll make with the house of Israel after those days, declares the Lord; I will put my laws into their minds and write them on their hearts and I'll be their God and they shall be my people {Hebrew:10}

4 all these reasons, I submit, lawyering isn't 4 me

n

I shall just follow my heart n stay focus on my dreams

2 all those people who have high hope on me, wishing me 2 put da black frilled gown wif a wig on me head,

I'm sorry. I cant. Just cant.

I know I've disappointed you. 4 dat i'm kneeling down.

Still I dun know wat I wanna be. da uncertainty of my future is wat I'm facing now.

God knows. Time tells (muting mode)

O God

I'm rambling too far now and sum1 has to tell me 2 stop or otherwise I'll keep on whining and swearing profusely. lol.

I admit dat. I apologise.

I just have 2 let dis out b4 it kills my brain cells

(myth of d day: thinking and worrying much cud damage ur brain neuron)

Lol

May God guides us thru.

x

*A bar examination is an examination to determine whether a candidate is qualified to practice law in a given jurisdiction.