Subconsciously, life cudn't be fair for us da microscopic mortals.
We might have encountered moments where we accidentally obtained da things we dun really want, but on the other hand, failed to grab da dreams we r truly dying for.
How irony.
Perhaps, lawyering job isn't 4 me
Perhaps, I shud have taken Law & History
Perhaps, I shud have minored in journalism
Perhaps, I shud have pursued my piano lesson since I was twelve
Perhaps, I shud have applied 4 Tele broadcasting trainee
Perhaps, I shud resume studying history untill doctorate level.
Granted, U mite say, being a self-sponsored stud makes ur career options widened. n u can explore more choices n flavours. How true. But truth be told, it also leads 2 a prob (of mine) -
the uncertainties in life
Have u ever felt da enthusiasm of 'i-wanna-do-dis-wanna-do-dat' but u dun know where 2 start wif???
or
a morale battle where ur parents want u 2 b a commercial solicitor but u dun give a crap being dat??? n ur quandary state of mind has made u feel damn inferior 2 handle.
If I cud just have endow da strength 2 tell me mum:
"Mak, I dun want to take my bar*. Im applying 4 Media Prima Talent-Pro Trainee Programme"
I wonder.
which brings me 2 justify da reasons I'm backing off from law:-
who gives a shit how an aggrieved party cud apply 4 promissory estoppel?
who gives a damn 2 examine da loss resulted from the 'Act of God?
who gives a crap 2 Lord Hoffman's guidance 2 prove whether a company's director has acted in good faith?
who gives a flying f**k to 'deserted wife's equity' n why was it rejected by the House of Lords in National Provincial Bank Ltd v Ainsworth [1965]?
whoever said dat I want 2 be a f**kin lawyer after saying all these.
On top of dat, I just cud feel being a lawyer doesn't make sense if u're 2 help ppl. Ever heard of no money,no claim?! 4 now, I managed 2 break myself from being keep on indoctrinated on 'da holiness n greatness being a lawyer'.
Amongst other things I've been brainwashed b4 :-
I wanna b a lawyer 2 admin justice
I wanna b a lawyer 2 fight corruptions
I wanna b a lawyer 2 save da injusticed chap
I wanna b a lawyer 2 defend da innocent mortal
I wanna b a lawyer 2 help da agrieved party
I wanna b a lawyer 2 change da law 4 a better living
Telling ya, its all bulls***s.
Nowadays lawyers (most of them) dun speak as they were used to be. They no longer seek justice, love mercy n walk humbly wif God. Da muslim lawyers (some of them) on d other hand, fail 2 observe da verses of
'Verily! Allah doth command thou to render back your trusts. To those to whom they are due; And when ye judge between people that ye judge with justice; Verily how excellent is the teaching which He giveth you! For Allah is He Who heareth and seeth all things' {The Women:58}
'O ye who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses. To God, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich and poor. For Allah can best protect both. Follow not da lusts (of your hearts), lest ye swervr, and if ye distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily God is well-acquainted with all dat ye do. {The Women:135}
Da Christian lawyers (mostly) no longer demonstrate God's character through its love n justice, neither be inspired by the call of da prophets Amos 5, Isaiah 3 n Micah 6:8
Lest they forget
"I'll lead da blind ... along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn da darkness into light b4 them and make the rough places smooth... I will not forsake them {Isaiah 42:16}
"For this is the covenant that I'll make with the house of Israel after those days, declares the Lord; I will put my laws into their minds and write them on their hearts and I'll be their God and they shall be my people {Hebrew:10}
4 all these reasons, I submit, lawyering isn't 4 me
n
I shall just follow my heart n stay focus on my dreams
2 all those people who have high hope on me, wishing me 2 put da black frilled gown wif a wig on me head,
I'm sorry. I cant. Just cant.
I know I've disappointed you. 4 dat i'm kneeling down.
Still I dun know wat I wanna be. da uncertainty of my future is wat I'm facing now.
God knows. Time tells (muting mode)
O God
I'm rambling too far now and sum1 has to tell me 2 stop or otherwise I'll keep on whining and swearing profusely. lol.
I admit dat. I apologise.
I just have 2 let dis out b4 it kills my brain cells
(myth of d day: thinking and worrying much cud damage ur brain neuron)
Lol
May God guides us thru.
x
*A bar examination is an examination to determine whether a candidate is qualified to practice law in a given jurisdiction.
23 comments:
memiliki segulung ijazah bukan bermakna kita perlu menjadi seseorang yang sama seperti apa yang kita pernah n telah belajar.
In deed I really understand what u've felt rite now...
nobody can't put a blame on u for that...senang kata buat apa nak dipaksa kalau hati dah tak suka,buat sakit hati n perasaan je...hati kita perasaan kita siapa yang boleh jaga kalau bukan kita sendiri...
so just make ur decision...macam mana harapan family kalau kita tak penuhi pun,marah pun mereka sekejap je...slow talk...n ur mom n dad will understand it...
interesting...bidang entertainment n so on mmg bersesuaian dengan wan...ur personality n attitude n sepanjang mengenali diri wan,I think mmg itulah wan...mmg itu arah wan...kejarlah impian tapi sentiasa berhati2 dalam mencapainya...sentiasa waspada agar tak tersasar dari arah sepatutnya...
my pray just for ur happiness...
u always know that I'll support u although sumtime I've to do it,but this time I will always give my support...just careful in ur life...pegang prinsip n asasnya agar segalanya ok...
all da best my fren...
salam abg wan,
oh god! im no longer the 1st here! (tot that i'd b the 1st again)..tup2 sakuramalaya kita dah terbang dr msia drop by kt sini..jaga2 ye kak ani =)
abg wan, i think, i've told u b4 abt my uncertain decision, just like urs. but pple around me kept telling that this is what im looking for since 12. i admitted it. but stil, deep inside, a few yrs ago, i tot it just not worth for me to b in this field because i wanna b a lawyer! thats my ambition that set up in my mind when i was 16, not 12. the 12's one is just like a 'happened-to-say-it-out-coz-i-like-
the-way-pple-look-at-this-career. (can i say it like that?) but stil, those who wanna comfort me at that time, those who wanna console me at that time, wil tell me about the same fact. 'think abt ur future. wil i really enjoy becoming a lawyer'. i kept my legs straight on my track, proceeding my life s a med stud.
after 2 yrs, i realized how much actly im into this field. i can say that im 200% into it. i really realized that lawyering job is just my hobby-like ambition supported by my background in debate(u know it well). cos i like to do the talking part. (i used word 'like' here).
but i re-analyzed my pros n cons here n there. i found out, my passionated ambition is doctor. i enjoy helping pple eventho smtimes i feel it not a time-worth profession(i used word 'enjoy' here).i sacrificed my time a lot (u know it well too).
if u realized, i used term passionated ambition. 2 in 1. not separately ambition vs passion. u know y? bcos i believe that we can blend together our ambition n passion in one. till now, am clear that my ambition is doctor but i blend my passion with it, mixed personality inside me.
i started knowing u 6 yrs ago as a full wit charisma, enthusiastic n very clear wit ur target in life. its not wrong at all if u wanna get involve in tele-what-so-ever-tv-programmes-or-
shows-or-talks, but i do believe that u can make it like an extra point to b a lawyer who get involved in this type of profession too.i support u very much.even i dare to say that u'll b a famous 1. double comprised! so many out there already made it. i know u can b 1 of them.
but 1 day if u find out that broadcasting is more dominant in ur life, then u may leave lawyering job. but at least pple wil know u as a multi-talented host cos u hv background n history in law.
just a suggestion/advise from me..think twice abt quitting. (al-baqarah:216 - not all that we like are good for us, vice versa, not all that we dont like are bad for us).
whatever it is, i adore u cos u r always my Mr. Lawyer.
regards,
aya
huhu..makes me want to write a somewhat similar 'whining' post..
nway, i understand how you feel and i hope you will find what you really want to do one day...
Poor you...the agony..ala ala Nora kaedahnya (Di Persimpangan Dilema). Tabahkan hati..see all the options..
Banyakkan sembahyang hajat..insyaAllah terbuka hati u untuk memilih the right career path for you.
Good luck dan jgn lah lagi bersedih :)
dearest sakuramalaya,
indeed.
i wish everyone around me cud understand wat u believe in.but im afraid dats not da case.but so long u do and not like them, i feel glad n much relieved having a company who is always supportive.
yup.betapa susahnyer hidup dalam keterpaksaan menurut kehendak orang.seandainye kehendak org selari dengan keinginan kiter tdk mengapalah,tp betapa ramai org ingin kiter menjadi spt mereka walhal di hati,bukan itu yang dihajati.
yeah.i just need time and space to convince them. i know its hard,but dere's nothing impossible if u believe.its just i need to break da conservative thoughts of theirs - to succeed u must work as professionals. non professionals do not earn a better living.
perhaps i shall assure them, no matter wat career i am joining, wat work im doing, im still their son and forever will be their son.loving inconditionally, caring everlastingly.
one day,they'll understand. they will
insyaAllah selagi teman2 dan insan2 tersayang sentiasa menemani, wan tdk akan tersasar jauh.klu tersasar pun, skeettttttt jer laaa.hehehe.pastu sedar balik..seandainye semua mengiringi wan dan merestui wan dalam industri seni nie (cehhhh wah disgusting gel ok) wan akan sentiasa ingat asal usul kiter dan pengangan hidup .insyaAllah
thanks for praying n supporting me all along da way..
p/s..wat do u mean even sumtimes u have to do it? i hope im not buying anyone despite da currency exchange truly gives me an advantage to do so.lol -grins-
love loads,
x
salam sarah,
feels like a pimp having two gurls racing to be da first commentator.lol.x sangka rupanyer i nie ramai peminat. -guffawing-
thanks 4 sharing ur two cents based on true experience. perhaps, u ve been given da impression how lavish and elite being a lawyer is.but i seriously disagree wat ur surrounding has suggested u. how cud they think life as a lawyer is futureless?
it feels gud when u feel da passion of doing sumting.thus, u can gear ur effort and focus to da max.moreover, u enjoy every single moment it went thru.dats da joy of it.n dat joyness is sumting i truly felt during my 3 year studying law. i cherish every single minute being a law student.clearly n no doubt on dat. i love law and forever will endure da course.its just dat I dun think lawyering job is for me despite how deep my passion in law.
wow
passionated ambition. never heard it b4.but im sure i'll start to engage myself wif dat newly-learnt term as dats da key of work satisfaction. i feel glad u've found it dear. far long before than me.hopefully it'll stay da same n ur heart wont waiver.
do u still have faith me being a lawyer? (^_^)
and u know how much ur words meant to me.it makes me start re-thinking all over again. every single words u spoken invites my mind to re-consider.dats da spell u've put in every words u wrote.lol. i'll try my dear. i cant promise u but as usual, i'll bear in mind on wat u've said.
perhaps im not dat charismatic, enthusiastic n target minded chap. slightly yeah but not absolute
lol
dat verse u've stated has always be da yardstick for me in embarking new aspirations.thanks for reminding.
above all, even one day lawyer isnt my ambition, being ur legal advisor is more than anything else to me.
from da sea of love,
x
Minci,
Please come out wif one of urs. wud like to hear ur heart-cry.
thanks for being dere - understanding and hoping.
ur prayers r my strengths
regards
x
thanks lee,
having u as my blog visitor really give a buster for me 2 keep on blogging.but u know i wud never compete urs.lol
sekali pandang macam 'di persimpangan dilema', dua kali pandang 'jangan bersedih lagi' by bob pun ada gak.
isnt it shud be sembahyang istikharah? n not really sembahyang hajat? (matilamak) lol
thanks dear...so much
x
Oopppsss memang mati pun!!!! Istikharah laa, betul!!! Iskkk...hahahah Matilaaamak ugama pun terbarai **oopsss
p/s apa pulak? I think you should be proud of yourself that you can be independent over there nun di Utara sana. Nak menetap kat UK forever kah?? **matilaa Manchester 4Eva
salam,
i didnt mean that lawyer is a futureless profession. it isnt like that at all. what the pple around me tried to say was, DO I, one day in the future, really enjoy working s a lawyer. it was only referred to me. cos they doubted could i really do it. the meaning of enjoy here maybe can be defined s: will i really able to handle myself becoming a lawyer. will i really satisfy 1 day if it happened to b i need to handle a 'wrong' case (even i dont want it at all). n will i forever have the ability to do the talking in front of pple like before. maybe thats y pple around me didnt want me to engage my life wit it.
and actually, 1 more point why they didnt let me do it, because i accidentally told them that i wanna stay for f6 in K***S! haha. absolutely they wont lemme do it. my kaklong said its a st**** idea cos thats not my color at all. (if i really did, just imagine where i might be rite now!becoming the real ustazah maybe..hihi)
ok abg wan, whatever ur decision is, i'll alwys hv faith in u to succeed in that field, whatever it will be.
Lee Novotny,
LOL,
yeah so far my life is pretty stable.but who knows wat happens in a day after. i can say being independent gives me a part to satisfy.but if u follow da discussion in my previous entry, u'll soon to learn why i am feeling in such an odd way.
im seriously dun know wat to answer. simply dun know. klu ada adalah kak, klu takde takde laa
manchester forever katanyeh
x
sarah
alaiki as salam,
ohooooooooo.dats da reason why they kept on persuading u not 2 do law.becuz they din want ya 2 end up 4 years in KI.well ustazah is a noble profession, i think.a sacred n holy job like da christian's priest n clergies.
but naaaaaaaa, u dun have da look to be one. lol
thanks for still having faith on me, while da others start to loosing theirs.
love loads
x
salam...
hehehe...interesting...enjoy reading all comments in this page...indeed many people care bout u...belum involve dalam broadcasting field pun dah terlebih popular...hahahaha...
every people have their own thought...n nobody is wrong and again not every thought is rite...it depends...
but one thing 4 sure...every people have been given 1 precious gift from Allah...that is OPTION/CHOICE...whatever people call it,it is up to us to determine our future n path...cumanya Allah anugerahkan satu lagi nikmat iaitu akal...supaya kita boleh fikirkan yang terbaik...
sarah...really miss u...bersyukur buat sarah coz u've found ur way...Allah memudahkan jalan awak...apa saja yang terjadi buat kita adalah ketentuanNya gak...tapi kita kena usaha...akak setuju apa yang kita fikir baik buat kita tak semestinya baik pada Allah...dan itulah yang akak sentiasa pegang...just b happy 4 u sarah...
n wan...u know da best for u...fikir,fikir,n terus fikir walaupun kaki dah melangkah ke arah tu...agar haluan takkan tersasar...n I know u always do it(berfikir...hehehe...nanti tak explain tanya lagi kan)
hope da best for all of u in this page...n me tooo still searching for da best in future...
p/s: apa yang I maksudkan by 'sumtime i do it' adalah...nanti I'll explain sendiri kat wan lah yer...
sakuramalaya,
well, wat can i say? Everyone knows me but not every1 loves me. -grins-
yeah, i agree wif ur submission with a few reservations .sumtimes we been granted life wif no options. not all of us got choices in life.but its just sumting dat u have to undergo half-heartedly. some even inherited sumting they dun really want or deserve from their ancestors. sum might feel obliged born in a rich family but many wud feel hard born into such a melancholic life.
siap blh bg dedication kat aya lagi.haha
perhaps, in dis life we shud adopt a 'trial n error' test. probably u wudnt know dats not meant for u unless u go urself a try.then we cud be convinced whether we shud keep on going or start a new search. but i must say da test has its own limitations.not all da things in dis world worth trial.
eg - its not neccessary to test how drugs cud make u feel gud or to try how alcohol can make u feel 'top-of-da-world when consuming those.
my point is - certain things are best to be left untried. for if u did,u r putting urself in a more dangerous state.
p/s...kene ada private blog laaa ek to explain da unexplainable reasons. at least not to da public
=)
regards
wassalam
x
nad owez don want to komen,
coz takut nnt lari mood..hehe coz i dont mean to be funny pon sumtym..
anyways..
trust what ur heart says..
XOXO,
nad
mengapa takleh komeng di sini? diblockkah? :(
well.. once i do feel like whut i feel now... i took the accountancy just becoz to fulfill my parents need.. kononnya ct senang dpt keja kat bank... well.. at the age of 18, i'm lost and my thinking just not wide at that moment.. so, i just follow their need although i have other dream to catch...to be an engineer...
i have to forget that dreams and push myself to learn something that i really don't understand at all... kira 2 minggu gaks la ct naik biol dlm kelas for the first semester... i try to put myself into it, but i failed.. i can't take it anymore... i did told my mum to quit and take an enginering courses but i've been scolded... start pd tuh, mula la ct buat perangai tak pi kelas la.. ponteng test la.. mals nak study la.. hurmmm
at last, after some advices from my lecturer, i realize that i cannot let go the opportunities... walaupun bercanggah dgn impian yg nak dikejar... takut plak jadik mcm ' yg dikejar tak dapat, yg dikendong plak berciciran'...
hurmm.. seriously, i also have the same feel like you do now... don't know what i want.. i just wanna let myself be what ever it will be...
again, yes it hard... mana nak kejar impian sendiri and mana nak jaga hati parents... hurmm... tp bagi ct, abg sebagai seorg lelaki, u have to be straight... or more to be is : TEGAS... kalo abg nak kejar apa yg abg nak, just go for it...
:)...
Askm…
I just read ur latest blog (thanks to the wireless here in INTAN)… after all, this is the most BORING weekend in my life… but that going to change starting next weekend…
Hmmm..it seems that ur having a second thought about ur career in law… for me, I think it’s natural for us to have a second thought about our job now and then.. I don’t know whether other people think the same way too or not… honestly, I’m also thinking about quitting from this job of mine.. after several months working as an assistant director cum state development officer, I found out a few things that make me want to quit from this job.. for instance, I found out that I have trouble communicating with other people and I have trouble controlling my own subordinates who are mostly older than me.. then to make the matter worse, I have to face all the bureaucracies and the damn politics!!! But everytime I thought about quitting, I always thought about my parents… their expectation of me and the fact that it will be harder for me to get another job, make me put up with being a ptd.. but at least, the core of my job is something that I really interest in (rural development)… and bcoz of that, to survive the next 25 to 30 years in the service, I have to better myself and equip myself with all the necessities knowledge, skills and most importantly, courage so that I could do my job better !!!
I know in ur case, u r facing more bigger conflict than me… I think ur being a nice guy make it harder for u to be a lawyer;) ur principles contradict the nature of ur career.. ur career involved other people life too.. how do u know if that person u r defending are innocent or not? what if u have to defend the guilty party? After all, u have to answer to The One when the time come.. I don’t know much about being a lawyer so I might be wrong… and then, u have to face ur parents expectation too.. bcoz ur studies r fully paid by them, that make it harder for u to tell them the change of ur heart..
My dear zack, I’m not good at giving advice to other people… but all I can said is that u have to think wisely b4 telling ur parents about ur second thought… and u have to be certain about what u r going to do with ur life if u really want to quit from being a lawyer.. u have to convince urself before u r able to convince ur parents.. after all, they only want the best for u… And do u really want to work in the media industry? R u ready to face all the hypocrisies and the pressure? And if u do, then u have to have the tenacity to pursue ur second career.. it’s not easy to change ur career so suddenly after all..
I hope that u will find peace soon… and hopefully, whatever career u choose, it will suite u in every way… I only could wish the best for u… and the decisions are could only be made by u only… so, think wisely my dear friend…
princess,
u r really funny gurl.
i dun even get wat r u trying 2 say here.
but ur last para is much understood and appreciated.thanx dear.thanks 4 being so understanding and supporting
XOXO jugak laaa
me
orang-orang,
mengapa tdk buleh? yg lain buleh saja. sy tdk pernah mem'block' sesapa pun yang ingin menyatakan isi hati diblog sy ini.hehe
but i'll take dat as an investigation for improvement.
trimas krn menyinggah di sini
x
anonymous one,
thanks for da willingness of urs sharing ur own experience.yeah being at da age of 18,makes u know nothing bout real life (we r just start to learn bout freedom back then)hence i can understand why u let da painting of ur life been drawn by ur parents.after all,they arent strangers,they r our loved ones (open to speculation)lol
its not surprising to learn ur rebellious reactions to wat u were doing.altho i must say,being rebellious doesnt really make u feel gud n helps less to solve da prob.its just show our anger n disagreement,but still, u were in dat horrific life being an accounting stud.
thank god, ur lecturer has come in a very angelic way.(supposed so) he/she tries to rationale u dat in life, certain things cudnt be withdrawn n reversed.we've got 2 keep on going once we started to walk on dat path.
(which i hope i havent start walking yet - just steping my foot on to walk)
yeah, i'll follow ur advice. FIRM in watever we want and choose.dun let others to decide wats for u cuz our life is our life.n no one cud ever take dat ownership even ur own biological parents (hoho,is dat harsh enough?)
just do it.
thanks 2 whoever u are,
x
anonymous two,
firstly, wishing u lead a meaningful n enjoyable life in INTAN, (tho from da things uve told me its not happening as u wished) hopefully, in da days to come, da boredom cud be minimised to a lower state and u'll live happily and well occupied.
i can see da reasons dat suggests u arent having a nice time working dere.learning all da corruptions both internally n externally from ur workplace really put me an impression how suffering u are now at da mo (n probably in da next 10 years +++)
ur parents' wish n ur undying interest in rural development have makes u to think - izzit worth quitting? and da verdict says, u'll stay. i do understand dat. and how difficult are u in reaching dat decision.
and i think i just share da same merits wif u. my passion and interest in law are still dere, in fact deepening as time passes by. i can say - not even a minute i felt regret taking law. i am(was) really into it. its just dat da injustice raised by the lawyers has made me to think- do i really wanna be one of them?
u certainly highlight my concern i.e. to go against my principle just to reach my(others) ambition. which definitely im not gonna compromise with. but yeah da feeling of guilt aka 'terhutang budi' lies strongly in my life 4eva since ive taken a lot from them. wish i am rich and i'll pay them back to set me free =)
wow
u threw me questions, resulting me to be breathless. how cud i answer dat? i cant.dun know.
i'll think over da nite to answer those questions. i shall reply u by tomorrow (when ive got da answers)now, my mind is jammed and cant run smooth for its 0203 hours now in manchester. plus, ive just came back from a gig at the uni basement. my head still spinning and banging profusely.lol
thanks dear. for sharing us ur concern
love loads
x
IMHO:
for guys, ambition comes first. for a great ambition will always guarantee a great future for him, his family, parents, siblings and so on.
for girls, passion comes first. for a passionless girl is certainly void of her god-given character that requires love and affectionate touch in a specific field. hence comes passion to compliment that soft touch of a woman. without passion she'll do it carelessly n will disrupt d balance of nature.
but gone were the days where men are supposed to pursue their specific field of ambition or their parents' choice for them. the new era gives freedom for those who wants to chase their dreams without having to succumb to their family dreams.
any road you choose, i want u to know deeply d consequences thereafter n d effect towards ur family. for its ur family that feeds n instill education n puts u where u are today. it is certainly a shame to disappoint them while they're still alive.
anyhow there's always a shortcut to what u want. u can always use ur excellent persuasion skill to make them understand that d other road u choose is certainly not as bad as they thought.
maybe all it takes is just an extensive presentation of facts and figures, to make them realize that, HEY! the other road is just as green as d road they wanted.
it's not their fault, really. they just want the best in you. but sometimes they read old pages in life's book, you just have to point them to newly published today's pages
;)
any way you go, of course i'll always be here to support u physically n spiritually. ukhuwwah fillah....
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