Search This Blog

Friday, December 19, 2008

And so the lion fell in love with the lamb ... What a stupid lamb


U must probably know where are these excerpts cuming from? Those are Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight which had blown (although not as huge as Harry Potter) da local cinemas and abroad 4 dis couple of weeks. I know dis sounds pretty odd, plus Asignofthecreator has never took da initiative 2 review a movie b4 (da nearest attempt was P/S I Love You, but still it was yet 2 b materialised), but after seeing Twilight (not once but 5 times: 4 wif different circle of frens n one juz by meself), da author of dis blog cant resist himself from falling in love wif da movie and will now take dis opp 2 comment on dis brilliant rendition.


Sounds gay, innit? AS IF I CARE !!!


DISCLAIMER NOTICE(S):
Da author is totally aware of the myths in dis movie. He will b solely commenting based on da story line, without weighting wif da reality which is full of lies n hidden motives.

These are only his rough (general) observation after been watching 4 da 5th time. As a matter of fact, he knows dat dis wud even b disqualified (by its nature) 2 b a gud source 4 film reviews n critics. He was juz pouring it out from wat he viewed without any critical evaluation supporting. In da end he’s juz speaking out of his mind in his lil tiny world ere.



First, da movie is an imitated version of “forbidden love” kinda thing i.e. which is 2 fall in love wif sum1 dat u shudnt supposed to. True, we do av # of versions on dis & each has its own interesting plots 2 offer. But Twilight gives a higher merit bcuz its a motion of love, cherished by 2 different creatures, whom each will bear da vexatious consequences for going through dis relationship. Da phrase, “so da lion fell in love with the lamb ... what a stupid lamb ... what a sick, masochistic lion” is best 2 illustrate da complexities da relationship is. U care 4 sumting dat potentially 2 b destroyed (BY U !!!) and U surrender 2 sumting dat U aware cud end ur life as a result. But still, how cud they sustain? Its interesting 2 note dat, either both of em are harming themselves and still risking the another while its not easy peasy 2 deal wif it.




N Im asserting now on da power of love 2 my submission. Truly, beyond imagination. Which nothing cud stop Edward and Bella from loving each other, no matter how hard they tried 2 avoid (esp Edward). Second, da power of love is unconditionally: no reason 4 u 2 fall in love i.e. neither barrier nor limitation 4 u to love him/her. Its juz dere when its dere. Blatantly true, one cud av a choice, so do Edward n Bella. But wud da option they took make em happy? They cud (i think) av considered da option (by hating each other @ 1st) but I guess it cant be defended till da end. Love is blind 2 sum extent, though we can vividly look and see.



Da power of love also prevailing over da fear felt by both characters. Edward frequently expressed his fear dat he cud easily harm Bella shud they get closer. (In fact he found it insurmountably hard 2 stop from keep on sucking Bella’s blood). On the other hand, i’m convinced dat dere must b a small % of fear n bluster in Bella, knowing Edward is a vampire. (I swear I cud have get my pants shitted seeing a demoniac creature keep on jumping from 1 site 2 another & thirst 4 my blood). Such macabric feelings r undeniable but its a unique theory (yet self-explained-ly) how cud they put it aside & instil their feelings 2wards each other.




Question - Wat wud u feel when sum1 dat u really admire n adore mentions, “You are my life now and I’ll do everything 2 make u safe” ? I will melt down (if not fainted) honestly. Da fact is, not many (5% - 7% I wud say) ppl in dis entire globe willing 2 sacrifice everything (or even their lifes) 4 love n their loved ones. I wud sacrifice my dreams and goals if I meet dis person, but sacrificing a life? O-O got 2 think (really) hard ere mate. N dats y da scripts n stanzas in dis movie, utterly touch my soul. Becuz I cudnt hardly imagine wat wud I react, when sum1 tell me dat I’m everything in his life & he’ll do anything 2 make me safe.

I mean, wat else cud I ask for?

Im not asking much from Lord Almighty. I dun care 2 live in a small cottage, no cars 2 ride, less money 2 shop or less food 2 survive. All I ask is sum1 2 love me unconditionally n will everlastingly stand by me no matter how wild da hurricane comes. N dat seems 2 b da hardest thing 2 get , innit?


Corrinthian 13: 4 – 8 says:
“Love is patient and kind ... It is never jealous ... Love is never boastful nor conceited ... It is never rude or selfish ... It does not take offence ... It is not resentful ... Love takes no pleasure in other people’s sins ... but always delights in the truth ... It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes”


N I can see dat traversing between em. Edward will never (up 2 dis period of time) end Bell’s life (even how desired Bella is). He can do dat simply if he wanted to. But I guess true love will never make the man neither the woman selfish. U cant turn him/her into sumbody u wanted to whom is not him/her. U love sum1 4 who he is, 4 wat he is and will never make him/her into da way u desired to. Clearly, Edward has many advantages shud he changed Bells into 1 of his kinds, but wudnt it be negative 2 think dat he is actually taking Bells away from her nice, cool n loving dad (n I will talk on dat too) and her mum. More important, Edward is separating Bella away from her life as a human. His rationale of “isn’t it not enough to live with me forever?” indicates dat no matter wat Bella is, he will always stay in love wif her, n i tell u, not every1 can do dat. It is, as I rate it, one of da best quotes I ever found in da movie. Even us da humans, our love gradually n normally b reflected n b decayed by da factors of barriers, physical attributions, distance, n sorry 2 say health conditions. We hardly realise dat love is to always excuse, to trust, to hope and to endure whatever comes.



4 dat reasons, I adore da characteristics portrayed by dis ‘immortal’ creature of Edward Cullen.




However, I seem 2 agree wif Bella classical notions “I’ve never given much thought to how I would die, but dying in the place of someone I love seems like a good way to go”. *** N im sure dis dilemma n vacillation being lingering in most of our minds at times. As a Muslim, Im much aware dat da fact dat im bound by my religion which holds dying 4 da sake of God and Religion is da ultimate aim being a Muslim. N I wont slash cant deny dat. But i also believe dat dere’s nothing SO wrong or digressing 2 leave life 4 da person dat we really love. If I wud be given a choice/list of options as to how shud I end my life, I wud certainly put Bella’s thoughts into consideration – wif 1 condition. It must b 4 sumone dat is truly in love wif me and I know dat my death will never put an end 4 him 2love me. So until Im convinced dat dis person exist in my heart n mind, dis option will never be real. After all, life must go on, rite?


*** John 15:13 “Greater love has no one than this that he lays down his life for his frens.”




In da end, one has 2 understand dat my writings aren’t reverencing (not even worshipping) Edward n Bella. They are juz 2 admire n 2 really adore da characteristic n personality shown by these two actors. I bet everyone cud be as charming as Edward n as gud-looking as Bella, but how many can blend their personalities n thinkings 2gether. N even I think, neither da real Robert Pattinson nor Kristen Stewart can (not even close) ...



4 all dis while, i’ve been searching up-low everywhere, who’s da best 2 vignette da true meaning of love. Im sure dere are few I’ve merited n agreed to, but Edward n Bella seem to be da glove dat fits all. N I wudnt mind (call me crackbrained) juz 2 b mersmerised by their love journey despite been watching more than 4 times. Call me nuts, but everytime I’ve watched it, I’ve learnt sumting niu and a niu hope has been injected 2 my artery – a niu hope 2 believe in true love, no matter how hard it is 2 b found.




Which consequently derive me 2 da conclusion dat, Zokhri Idris is totally aware dat 2 certain extent da movie is unreal and will never be real in reality. Hands up. I shrugged off. N he knows dat his feet are still stepping on da ground realising and feeling da real world dat everyone is facing significantly distinguished from da movie. But is dere anything wrong 2 put a hope 4 sumting pure n holly (although its totally illusionary) ?


Am I guilty juz 2 imagine all those wonderful fantasies while facing my bizarre n despondency life now?

Am I insane 2 believe in true love, although true love is far too real in me life (n probably in urs too)?



I am juz an ordinary human, believing in sumting dat cud serve as an antidote to me n da world, while still realising it mite -slash- will never happen till da day I close me eyes eternally. But as long, I think, as I have a mind 2 fantasise, a heart 2 feel my own dream version of love, no one (even you) cud stop me from doing so.


After all, because of this hope, Zokhri Idris is still standing, searching, struggling and most importantly STILL LIVING.



BIBILIOGRAPHY:
The author wud like 2 acknowledge Adam Mohamed 4 providing da Twilight quotes by bugging my cell wif all his ill-intentional words (grins) every single day without failed since he’d gone back 2 his lil ‘Forks’ of Miri.


THE END -

Monday, December 15, 2008

Its da time of d year again ...

December is back ... 4 da 25th time in my life.


I know, I can use dis month as a reason 2 av extra pocket-money from mum when I had my uni years. I mean, no reasonable man wud stay in Manchester wif extremely cold, gloomy n sun-less n boring-est weeks. But since, Im back home, I dun think its gonna help, is it? (pity me)


But hols is cuming n I juz cant sit pretending everything will be alrite. Need 2 get me arse sumwhere. n after a short deliberation n concerntration, I think these are da things I gonna do (although I admit they r still @ planning stage)


One : Visiting me Kalsom mentees in Kedah.


Two : Vacation wif sum1. Dun ask. I wont answer.


Three : Going up-north wif AEI frens. We intend 2 go round Langkawi beginning Jan 5th.


Four: Going 4 Mama Mia Theatre wif Japanese mates (probably on Dec 28th, tapi yaqen jerk ada tix walhal tix x beli lg)


Worst,


Five : Completing Dr Camroux's 3000 mini dissertation on European Regional Integration n Dr Rossi's Research Methodologies written paper.


Plus : My Doctoral Research Proposal 4 next year (juz in case I cant land on promising job)


Quite filling aite? Wat say ye?


1251
AEI - 5th last day of school -

Friday, December 05, 2008

RESEARCH METHODOLOGIES & DATA SAMPLING

Yeah, u read it rite. Its a subject dat has made my nite restless n my day less-productive. Wondering Y? Its becuz 4 da past 1 week, I’ve been drilling me arse (or in a nice and polite way of literature: burning my midnite oil) (LoL) 2 cope wif dis subject preparing a mega extravaganza assessment 2day. I had (still cant believe I’ve done it) a research proposal presentation n exam back 2 back in 2days’s session.

Though I never experience such ‘sandwich assesssment’ in my entire life, I must rate it as challenging yet manageable. It wasnt too bad enw. I’m still alive @ least ... sound n safe. All of my preliminary worriness which suggest i’ll screw up in da end turn out 2 b a superstition.

N true, God has sent His Message in a # of ways including while learning sumting (academically & empirically) 4 da exam. I was being reminded by Dr Eva Rossi dat not all objects cud b treated as a sample. (OK, I know u wont be happy wif dis, but kindly bear wif me yeah). Although “random probability sampling” wud b a best approach 2 generalise da entire population, a researcher must always beware wif da existence of “bias sample” i.e. distortion in da representativeness of da sample. Hence @ times, da scientist community must apply purposive criteria (2 select samples according 2 our criteria in order 2 diversify our results & achieve our targets).

Wat happened in da past few weeks were an excellent illustration 2 wat I’ve learnt. Im missing those once I’ve called a fren, im loosing those, who were once I cherished 4 their existence in my life. Their presence was clearly be felt, while their absence gradually distancing them from my life.

@ once, I was hard 2 accept dis. I was 1 who believed frens r 4ever n frenship wud always everlast despite changes in life. I was hardly 2 loose 1 if I had him/her. I adored em truly n 4getting em, wud never be an option or sumting 2 think about.

And ...... I was wrong.

People (frens) come and go in our life. They cant stay 4ever (unless they really wanted 2 do so). N we cant force em 2 remain no matter how hard we tried. Once betrayal – disloyalty came into da picture, dat wud be da terminating factor of da relationship. N true, i cant pursuade em 2 sail wif me till da end of my voyage, I cant make em stay juz bcuz I’m heading 2 a different path. Who am I 2 hold u 4ever, juz bcuz we have a different way of life?

Da world 2day is a a world full of lies n hidden motives by da mortals.

We do sumting bcuz we desire 3 sumting.

We (@ times) befriending sum1 juz 2 achieve personal goals n targets.

We befriending sumbody powerful juz bcuz we want 2 b powerful.

We been closed wif sumbody brilliant juz becuz we want 2 b 1

We been acquaintant sum1 superior juz bcuz we want 2 get sumting in da end.

We been intimate wif sum1 as an escape route from harm/danger.


Sound a cliche but reality speaks ... n I had 2 put a stop 4 all dis creatures from keep on pestering n interfering my life.

I can see a difference in ur eyes when Im no longer important 2 u. U were once been nice 2 me, assuming I can help –slash- make u pass Legal Studies brilliantly. N my friendly n approachable style really make u think U can actually do da subject wif a lil assistance from me. U expected 2 much. U’ve been asking more that wat a student supposed 2 ask. N u were abusing my companionship juz 2 make u score (wif a lil effort of urs)

N God is great. Turned out I am not da 1 u can rely on. My virgin year of lecturing shows im not able to fulfill ur demand n expectation. I admit (emphasis added) dat its partly my fault, but I cudnt accept if one doesnt allow me 2 keep on trying n improving. If all my effort 2 try, n my commitment 2 serve better (despite my weaknesses 2 offer) arent valued or appreciated, I feel dere’s no need 4 me 2 stay. If I’m convinced dat my endless effort n struggle make no big deal 2 u (n u still put da blame on me) I see no point of keep on trying.

I’VE TO EXCLUDE U FROM MY LIFE AND FIND SUMTING DAT SERVES ME BETTER (according 2 Purposive Sampling n Distortion Sampling methodologies)

2nd illustration.

On prima facie, i innocently thot dat my preliminary weeks as a stud wil bring me some new hopes although (honestly) I’ve been warned by fellow colleagues n relatives, dat learning in Malaysian Public University wudnt turn out as nice as I had previously. Ppl ere r full of poli-ticking n double (multi) faced. My initial moments wif frens in AEI, was full of laughters n imaginary plans. We wanted 2 do dis, wished 2 do dat. We planned 2 go ere n dere, filling our study-year wif loads of fun n enjoyment. Da diversity of ethnicity dat I’ve encountered was fulfilling as we vowed 2 knoe each other, 2 learn from each other n 2 help each other.

We wanted 2 make our 7 month-stay in AEI a remarkable, splendid n enjoyous moment.

But as time passes by, I’ve realised dat da foundation dat we built is diluting n fading. True, look can b deceiving n never judge da person based on da 1st time u met. As we go along, I can c sum changes in U (n probably in me too) where we now lead 2 a period of selfishness, individualistic n win-loose situation. I swear, if I know da SC election wud be da stepping stone 4 us 2 loose apart, I wudnt even bother 2 go n vote.

If I knew da existence of SC wud only segmenting us into blocks n clicks, I wudnt even interested 2 be part of it.

But da true colour of oneself will somehow emerge, no matter how hard s/he tried 2 cover up @ da first place. We now no longer live in peace n harmony (although we laugh n smile 2gether) knowing some parasits n traitors are also part of our life. Da plans we ‘ve arranged, now known as memory dat I doubt, will b fondly remembered.

Its hard 2 trust (even any1 of u) as we r driven into our own personal goals n aims. Anything dat we say (4 da sake of having fun) will b used 2 againts us. We, all humans in AEI, live in pretentious, double faced, n 2 certain extent, hypocrite. We b closed wif sum1 dat matches us, @ da same time be distant wif sum1 dat we dun like. We r indirectly drawing some islands within ourselves, n no longer live as one big happy family.

No hard feelings yeah. Im not putting da blame on any1 (u know who u r better than I do). Perhaps dis is just da way. Its is natural phenomenon – neither can be stopped nor can be prevented by any1, no matter from da most inferior 2 da most superior.

SHAME ON US FELLOW COLLEAGUES.

N I’m now leading my way, setting up my path n leave behind dis S***. I dun care wat’s gonna happen, dun even give a S*** what’s happening. I dun give a damn on ur self-politicking, self propaganda and agenda and all. All I know, is 2 get my grades, while working on my doctorate proposal, n off I go when da time comes. But dat doesnt mean im gonna exclude myself from da crowd. Im still da old Zokh dat u know, who loves 2 smile n love 2 help. But if u give me dis silly-billy stuffs n things, JUZ GET LOST, WILL YA!! I HAD ENUFF.

Im no longer need ppl (like u) who distracts me from my path. I dun need ppl, who deviates me away from da track I’ve setted. I juz dun want 2 loose my focus as dis is juz a temporary station, b4 Im moving 2 my final destination. Call me selfish – call me stubborn, but once I’ve sed dat, dats da way is gonna be. Fullstop. Khalas.

So Im glad 2 b taught by Dr Eva Rossi (despite every1 mite feel differently). She has made me realised on how important 2 b choosy and selective. After all, we cant please everyone and its 4 my own good in near future. Why I shud be engaging wif irrelevant samples (people), knowing da fact they wont lead me 2 my objectives. Just get rid of it, n move on, innit?

N im still av my own circles n sibs (a new word introduced by Sid). I still av strengths 2 rely 2, sources 2 hang on 2, n voices of hope 2 listen 2 – which take me 2 dis wonderful opportunity, 2 thank those who still stay by my side, lending ur support, sending ur prayers n above all, ushering me all dis while. U guys rock n I will never able to thank u 4 dat.

I shall get dis done n 4 u, I will make it no matter wat comes.

A credit 2 Dr Eva Rossi (University of Rome, La Sapienza)


xxx