Yeah, u read it rite. Its a subject dat has made my nite restless n my day less-productive. Wondering Y? Its becuz 4 da past 1 week, I’ve been drilling me arse (or in a nice and polite way of literature: burning my midnite oil) (LoL) 2 cope wif dis subject preparing a mega extravaganza assessment 2day. I had (still cant believe I’ve done it) a research proposal presentation n exam back 2 back in 2days’s session.
Though I never experience such ‘sandwich assesssment’ in my entire life, I must rate it as challenging yet manageable. It wasnt too bad enw. I’m still alive @ least ... sound n safe. All of my preliminary worriness which suggest i’ll screw up in da end turn out 2 b a superstition.
N true, God has sent His Message in a # of ways including while learning sumting (academically & empirically) 4 da exam. I was being reminded by Dr Eva Rossi dat not all objects cud b treated as a sample. (OK, I know u wont be happy wif dis, but kindly bear wif me yeah). Although “random probability sampling” wud b a best approach 2 generalise da entire population, a researcher must always beware wif da existence of “bias sample” i.e. distortion in da representativeness of da sample. Hence @ times, da scientist community must apply purposive criteria (2 select samples according 2 our criteria in order 2 diversify our results & achieve our targets).
Wat happened in da past few weeks were an excellent illustration 2 wat I’ve learnt. Im missing those once I’ve called a fren, im loosing those, who were once I cherished 4 their existence in my life. Their presence was clearly be felt, while their absence gradually distancing them from my life.
@ once, I was hard 2 accept dis. I was 1 who believed frens r 4ever n frenship wud always everlast despite changes in life. I was hardly 2 loose 1 if I had him/her. I adored em truly n 4getting em, wud never be an option or sumting 2 think about.
And ...... I was wrong.
People (frens) come and go in our life. They cant stay 4ever (unless they really wanted 2 do so). N we cant force em 2 remain no matter how hard we tried. Once betrayal – disloyalty came into da picture, dat wud be da terminating factor of da relationship. N true, i cant pursuade em 2 sail wif me till da end of my voyage, I cant make em stay juz bcuz I’m heading 2 a different path. Who am I 2 hold u 4ever, juz bcuz we have a different way of life?
Da world 2day is a a world full of lies n hidden motives by da mortals.
We do sumting bcuz we desire 3 sumting.
We (@ times) befriending sum1 juz 2 achieve personal goals n targets.
We befriending sumbody powerful juz bcuz we want 2 b powerful.
We been closed wif sumbody brilliant juz becuz we want 2 b 1
We been acquaintant sum1 superior juz bcuz we want 2 get sumting in da end.
We been intimate wif sum1 as an escape route from harm/danger.
Sound a cliche but reality speaks ... n I had 2 put a stop 4 all dis creatures from keep on pestering n interfering my life.
I can see a difference in ur eyes when Im no longer important 2 u. U were once been nice 2 me, assuming I can help –slash- make u pass Legal Studies brilliantly. N my friendly n approachable style really make u think U can actually do da subject wif a lil assistance from me. U expected 2 much. U’ve been asking more that wat a student supposed 2 ask. N u were abusing my companionship juz 2 make u score (wif a lil effort of urs)
N God is great. Turned out I am not da 1 u can rely on. My virgin year of lecturing shows im not able to fulfill ur demand n expectation. I admit (emphasis added) dat its partly my fault, but I cudnt accept if one doesnt allow me 2 keep on trying n improving. If all my effort 2 try, n my commitment 2 serve better (despite my weaknesses 2 offer) arent valued or appreciated, I feel dere’s no need 4 me 2 stay. If I’m convinced dat my endless effort n struggle make no big deal 2 u (n u still put da blame on me) I see no point of keep on trying.
I’VE TO EXCLUDE U FROM MY LIFE AND FIND SUMTING DAT SERVES ME BETTER (according 2 Purposive Sampling n Distortion Sampling methodologies)
2nd illustration.
On prima facie, i innocently thot dat my preliminary weeks as a stud wil bring me some new hopes although (honestly) I’ve been warned by fellow colleagues n relatives, dat learning in Malaysian Public University wudnt turn out as nice as I had previously. Ppl ere r full of poli-ticking n double (multi) faced. My initial moments wif frens in AEI, was full of laughters n imaginary plans. We wanted 2 do dis, wished 2 do dat. We planned 2 go ere n dere, filling our study-year wif loads of fun n enjoyment. Da diversity of ethnicity dat I’ve encountered was fulfilling as we vowed 2 knoe each other, 2 learn from each other n 2 help each other.
We wanted 2 make our 7 month-stay in AEI a remarkable, splendid n enjoyous moment.
But as time passes by, I’ve realised dat da foundation dat we built is diluting n fading. True, look can b deceiving n never judge da person based on da 1st time u met. As we go along, I can c sum changes in U (n probably in me too) where we now lead 2 a period of selfishness, individualistic n win-loose situation. I swear, if I know da SC election wud be da stepping stone 4 us 2 loose apart, I wudnt even bother 2 go n vote.
If I knew da existence of SC wud only segmenting us into blocks n clicks, I wudnt even interested 2 be part of it.
But da true colour of oneself will somehow emerge, no matter how hard s/he tried 2 cover up @ da first place. We now no longer live in peace n harmony (although we laugh n smile 2gether) knowing some parasits n traitors are also part of our life. Da plans we ‘ve arranged, now known as memory dat I doubt, will b fondly remembered.
Its hard 2 trust (even any1 of u) as we r driven into our own personal goals n aims. Anything dat we say (4 da sake of having fun) will b used 2 againts us. We, all humans in AEI, live in pretentious, double faced, n 2 certain extent, hypocrite. We b closed wif sum1 dat matches us, @ da same time be distant wif sum1 dat we dun like. We r indirectly drawing some islands within ourselves, n no longer live as one big happy family.
No hard feelings yeah. Im not putting da blame on any1 (u know who u r better than I do). Perhaps dis is just da way. Its is natural phenomenon – neither can be stopped nor can be prevented by any1, no matter from da most inferior 2 da most superior.
SHAME ON US FELLOW COLLEAGUES.
N I’m now leading my way, setting up my path n leave behind dis S***. I dun care wat’s gonna happen, dun even give a S*** what’s happening. I dun give a damn on ur self-politicking, self propaganda and agenda and all. All I know, is 2 get my grades, while working on my doctorate proposal, n off I go when da time comes. But dat doesnt mean im gonna exclude myself from da crowd. Im still da old Zokh dat u know, who loves 2 smile n love 2 help. But if u give me dis silly-billy stuffs n things, JUZ GET LOST, WILL YA!! I HAD ENUFF.
Im no longer need ppl (like u) who distracts me from my path. I dun need ppl, who deviates me away from da track I’ve setted. I juz dun want 2 loose my focus as dis is juz a temporary station, b4 Im moving 2 my final destination. Call me selfish – call me stubborn, but once I’ve sed dat, dats da way is gonna be. Fullstop. Khalas.
So Im glad 2 b taught by Dr Eva Rossi (despite every1 mite feel differently). She has made me realised on how important 2 b choosy and selective. After all, we cant please everyone and its 4 my own good in near future. Why I shud be engaging wif irrelevant samples (people), knowing da fact they wont lead me 2 my objectives. Just get rid of it, n move on, innit?
N im still av my own circles n sibs (a new word introduced by Sid). I still av strengths 2 rely 2, sources 2 hang on 2, n voices of hope 2 listen 2 – which take me 2 dis wonderful opportunity, 2 thank those who still stay by my side, lending ur support, sending ur prayers n above all, ushering me all dis while. U guys rock n I will never able to thank u 4 dat.
I shall get dis done n 4 u, I will make it no matter wat comes.
A credit 2 Dr Eva Rossi (University of Rome, La Sapienza)
xxx
Though I never experience such ‘sandwich assesssment’ in my entire life, I must rate it as challenging yet manageable. It wasnt too bad enw. I’m still alive @ least ... sound n safe. All of my preliminary worriness which suggest i’ll screw up in da end turn out 2 b a superstition.
N true, God has sent His Message in a # of ways including while learning sumting (academically & empirically) 4 da exam. I was being reminded by Dr Eva Rossi dat not all objects cud b treated as a sample. (OK, I know u wont be happy wif dis, but kindly bear wif me yeah). Although “random probability sampling” wud b a best approach 2 generalise da entire population, a researcher must always beware wif da existence of “bias sample” i.e. distortion in da representativeness of da sample. Hence @ times, da scientist community must apply purposive criteria (2 select samples according 2 our criteria in order 2 diversify our results & achieve our targets).
Wat happened in da past few weeks were an excellent illustration 2 wat I’ve learnt. Im missing those once I’ve called a fren, im loosing those, who were once I cherished 4 their existence in my life. Their presence was clearly be felt, while their absence gradually distancing them from my life.
@ once, I was hard 2 accept dis. I was 1 who believed frens r 4ever n frenship wud always everlast despite changes in life. I was hardly 2 loose 1 if I had him/her. I adored em truly n 4getting em, wud never be an option or sumting 2 think about.
And ...... I was wrong.
People (frens) come and go in our life. They cant stay 4ever (unless they really wanted 2 do so). N we cant force em 2 remain no matter how hard we tried. Once betrayal – disloyalty came into da picture, dat wud be da terminating factor of da relationship. N true, i cant pursuade em 2 sail wif me till da end of my voyage, I cant make em stay juz bcuz I’m heading 2 a different path. Who am I 2 hold u 4ever, juz bcuz we have a different way of life?
Da world 2day is a a world full of lies n hidden motives by da mortals.
We do sumting bcuz we desire 3 sumting.
We (@ times) befriending sum1 juz 2 achieve personal goals n targets.
We befriending sumbody powerful juz bcuz we want 2 b powerful.
We been closed wif sumbody brilliant juz becuz we want 2 b 1
We been acquaintant sum1 superior juz bcuz we want 2 get sumting in da end.
We been intimate wif sum1 as an escape route from harm/danger.
Sound a cliche but reality speaks ... n I had 2 put a stop 4 all dis creatures from keep on pestering n interfering my life.
I can see a difference in ur eyes when Im no longer important 2 u. U were once been nice 2 me, assuming I can help –slash- make u pass Legal Studies brilliantly. N my friendly n approachable style really make u think U can actually do da subject wif a lil assistance from me. U expected 2 much. U’ve been asking more that wat a student supposed 2 ask. N u were abusing my companionship juz 2 make u score (wif a lil effort of urs)
N God is great. Turned out I am not da 1 u can rely on. My virgin year of lecturing shows im not able to fulfill ur demand n expectation. I admit (emphasis added) dat its partly my fault, but I cudnt accept if one doesnt allow me 2 keep on trying n improving. If all my effort 2 try, n my commitment 2 serve better (despite my weaknesses 2 offer) arent valued or appreciated, I feel dere’s no need 4 me 2 stay. If I’m convinced dat my endless effort n struggle make no big deal 2 u (n u still put da blame on me) I see no point of keep on trying.
I’VE TO EXCLUDE U FROM MY LIFE AND FIND SUMTING DAT SERVES ME BETTER (according 2 Purposive Sampling n Distortion Sampling methodologies)
2nd illustration.
On prima facie, i innocently thot dat my preliminary weeks as a stud wil bring me some new hopes although (honestly) I’ve been warned by fellow colleagues n relatives, dat learning in Malaysian Public University wudnt turn out as nice as I had previously. Ppl ere r full of poli-ticking n double (multi) faced. My initial moments wif frens in AEI, was full of laughters n imaginary plans. We wanted 2 do dis, wished 2 do dat. We planned 2 go ere n dere, filling our study-year wif loads of fun n enjoyment. Da diversity of ethnicity dat I’ve encountered was fulfilling as we vowed 2 knoe each other, 2 learn from each other n 2 help each other.
We wanted 2 make our 7 month-stay in AEI a remarkable, splendid n enjoyous moment.
But as time passes by, I’ve realised dat da foundation dat we built is diluting n fading. True, look can b deceiving n never judge da person based on da 1st time u met. As we go along, I can c sum changes in U (n probably in me too) where we now lead 2 a period of selfishness, individualistic n win-loose situation. I swear, if I know da SC election wud be da stepping stone 4 us 2 loose apart, I wudnt even bother 2 go n vote.
If I knew da existence of SC wud only segmenting us into blocks n clicks, I wudnt even interested 2 be part of it.
But da true colour of oneself will somehow emerge, no matter how hard s/he tried 2 cover up @ da first place. We now no longer live in peace n harmony (although we laugh n smile 2gether) knowing some parasits n traitors are also part of our life. Da plans we ‘ve arranged, now known as memory dat I doubt, will b fondly remembered.
Its hard 2 trust (even any1 of u) as we r driven into our own personal goals n aims. Anything dat we say (4 da sake of having fun) will b used 2 againts us. We, all humans in AEI, live in pretentious, double faced, n 2 certain extent, hypocrite. We b closed wif sum1 dat matches us, @ da same time be distant wif sum1 dat we dun like. We r indirectly drawing some islands within ourselves, n no longer live as one big happy family.
No hard feelings yeah. Im not putting da blame on any1 (u know who u r better than I do). Perhaps dis is just da way. Its is natural phenomenon – neither can be stopped nor can be prevented by any1, no matter from da most inferior 2 da most superior.
SHAME ON US FELLOW COLLEAGUES.
N I’m now leading my way, setting up my path n leave behind dis S***. I dun care wat’s gonna happen, dun even give a S*** what’s happening. I dun give a damn on ur self-politicking, self propaganda and agenda and all. All I know, is 2 get my grades, while working on my doctorate proposal, n off I go when da time comes. But dat doesnt mean im gonna exclude myself from da crowd. Im still da old Zokh dat u know, who loves 2 smile n love 2 help. But if u give me dis silly-billy stuffs n things, JUZ GET LOST, WILL YA!! I HAD ENUFF.
Im no longer need ppl (like u) who distracts me from my path. I dun need ppl, who deviates me away from da track I’ve setted. I juz dun want 2 loose my focus as dis is juz a temporary station, b4 Im moving 2 my final destination. Call me selfish – call me stubborn, but once I’ve sed dat, dats da way is gonna be. Fullstop. Khalas.
So Im glad 2 b taught by Dr Eva Rossi (despite every1 mite feel differently). She has made me realised on how important 2 b choosy and selective. After all, we cant please everyone and its 4 my own good in near future. Why I shud be engaging wif irrelevant samples (people), knowing da fact they wont lead me 2 my objectives. Just get rid of it, n move on, innit?
N im still av my own circles n sibs (a new word introduced by Sid). I still av strengths 2 rely 2, sources 2 hang on 2, n voices of hope 2 listen 2 – which take me 2 dis wonderful opportunity, 2 thank those who still stay by my side, lending ur support, sending ur prayers n above all, ushering me all dis while. U guys rock n I will never able to thank u 4 dat.
I shall get dis done n 4 u, I will make it no matter wat comes.
A credit 2 Dr Eva Rossi (University of Rome, La Sapienza)
xxx
4 comments:
Letting people take advantage of you will result in only more hate, so be wise Wan Zu, which you have clearly shown here.
We know who's worth the effort and who's not. The rest, as they all say, is history.
Research methods is a nightmare kan. i still have a paper that i need to hand in on qualitative methods which i should be doing now =p
i guess in a way, im lucky that from i was small my parents has always drill into me that friendship come and go. that only family stick with u no matter what. (well, mostly. im pretty sure if i say something like im lesbian my parents will disown me). so i never have the dillusion of friend is for forever.
But, knowing and accepting is two different thing. It still hurts when u lose a friend when they get a boyfriend, it still hurts when one day a friend just decide that they dont need u no more.
I guess, it only make us stronger la kan wan zhu. Thank you for being there for me when the same thing happen to me =)
Dear Spinzer,
Cudnt agree more mate. I must say dat dis has come to an end to me, n i'll be more vigilant in near future n onwards. thanks for ur support in reaffirming my new principle.
i hope both of us will never be like dat (really hope so)
ur ohana,
xxx
dear imnoangel238,
well to me its not as a bad nitemare as urs. we had a presentation on dat and a mini paper to submit in early january. one down one more to go. n shud be ok i think.
as a matter of fact, me parents preached dat to me too. but being away from em, i was slowly din put a strong belief in it (probably becuz being carried away wif frens) but now yeah, ive learnt a lesson and forever will remember it.
interestingly, frens will support u even u claim urself as lesbo/gay. n im pretty sure parents dun. and even if ur frens dun accept ur orientation, u juz cant be bothered wif em as who r they in ur life. so dere u go. a fair and square evaluation between parents and frens.
true. and i will try my best to remain my acceptance on dis lesson (probably forever) i must admit, i've been knowing it since ages, but only know i come to an acceptance. but babe, hurt will come no more so long we believe on this 'temporary' ppl in our life.
to conclude, yeah it will make me stronger and wiser in life.
welcome to my world imnoangel238,
xxx
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