It has been the fifteenth day and still ...
Zokhri is Crying and Asking Why on Earth the World is so naive n helpless bout da S.O.B Zionism in Palestine?
Sobbing and thinking wat can he do xxx
p/s: S.O.B means 'SON OF A BITCH' juz in case u dunno and Im not ashamed to say it ere (juz in case u dun know)
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Monday, January 05, 2009
Ahlan* 2009
Ma Niu Yer eve didn’t turn out as superb as I have anticipated. Its da worst ever new yer celebration since I came back home last 2 years. It was a rushing day in da afternoon as few things ought 2 b done b4 midnite ... went 2 UITM wif Sue 2 submit PhD application, rushed 2 UM 2 join Shuhardi’s buzzday bash n immediately drove 2 KLIA 2 fetch me family from their Bandung Trip. It was nearly 0000 dat I managed 2 get dis things sorted out n made me way 2 KL. I even celebrated Niu Yer @ Komuter Station by myself. Alone. No one 2 hug. No Auld Lang Syne. Juz. By. My. Self.
After clubbing (hard), my mates n 1 were having post-clubbing tea. I wasn’t really listening although I forced myself 2 join da crowd. I made myself speak juz not 2 alienate myself from em. But deep inside, my heart cried. My new year celebration was ruined after a week of anticipating n planning. I didn’t blame me parents 4 their l8 arrival (they touched down @ 2145 but only appeared an hour later). Dats my duty as a son 2 fetch n 2 bring em home safely. But I cudnt accept while in da journey, they were teasing me annoyingly. Fair enuff, I didn’t join em 4 da trip n didn’t accompany em @ home after dat. But its niu yer, heaven’s sake. All of me mates were out celebrating n sharing dis moment 2gether, n I cant juz let myself 2 b left behind.
After all, i dun deserve 2 b ill-teated after all of my effort in spending sum lil time bringing em home. Don’t u know 2 b a bit thankful 2 ur very own son? After all, im ur son n trying 2 serve u wif da best dat i cud. But still, I av my lines n U cant transgress n being titular juz bcuz u r me parents. Have sum respect n understanding, will ya?
Whilst waiting 4 da train, i tried 2 reach him. I texted asking how’s he’s being doing on dis winsome nite. No reply. Fine. Must b out of credit. I rang n after zillion times, he picked up. Told me he’d fever n dats y he din reply. Awesome. Wasn’t it so hard juz 2 text me informing u r bed-resting due 2 ur illness or simply ring me informing u aren’t well down dere. So much of talking commitment, huh?
So while waiting da train 2 cum, I nodded down brimming. Every1 wasnt being nice 2 me on niu yer eve. Every1 was running away n leaving me alone witnessing a hotspots of fireworks transforming into a magnificent stars up high in da sky. I was alone on new year eve, in MY HOME COUNTRY. As da fireworks began 2 b merrier, I cant help myself from pouring. Helplessly.
After few minutes of sobbing, I started 2 b rationale n analyse things wisely. I profusely told me self – no 1 deserve 2 cry on new year. I wiped my tears n put me headphones on, listening 2 da greatest ABBA’s Dancing Queen and Mamma Mia. It made me feel much better.
I shudnt b grieving n must enjoy da moment. Its da time where every1 is waiting 4 365 days n I am amongst da lucky ones 2 stay alive commemorating it. So even no 1 stood by me I must make sure dat Im not gonna miss even a thing. 2009 is about 2 begin n I dun want 2 embark it wif a feeling being downcast n despondency, let da year exhilarated wif laughters n smiles.
N suddenly I felt da inner strength of mine. A power dat born from da heart without any help of da others. It was solid, ravish n powerful whisper dat made myself tranquil. I felt peace. I felt calm. An utmost serendipity. Surrounding by no 1 under da shimmering stars n fireworks @ nite, on new year was sumting 2 b truly remembered. N I’ve learnt dat, although no 1 can bring u happiness, U shudnt nod down surrendering ur sorrowness. Even no 1 can give u a smile, dat doesnt mean u av 2 cry. Happiness is sumting dat will emerge from da heart, enrapturing da mind n soul without an assistance of other factors. It is from u my dear, flowing naturally in u and sparking mermerisingly without limitation. I will raise, stand still, look up 4 da bright 2009 awaiting me ahead.
Although its full of uncertainties and enigma, I will face it with bravery n pride cuz a person like me, I DESERVE NOTHING BUT ONLY TO BE DA BEST. Its my life and I gonna life wif it in my way.
Mode: Its My Life by Bon Jovi
26 year old marks another year of maturity n wisdom. A higher level of self-persistence and determination. Every second counts dear Zokhri. Its either now or never. They can say anything they want, bringing u down. They can do anything they wish to, making u drown. They can give u a s***, making ur life not moving around.
Mode: Cant Take Dat Away by Mariah Carey.
But I vow not 2 let dis happen. As a matter of fact, I am not battling those who r doing dis 2 me. Im in a war not 2 let dis things happening 2 me. I am 2 defend n 2 protect myself from being hurt n depreciated.
N Im not scared ... If I fall down, I’ll raise. If I loose, I’ll fight back till I win. I’ll gain all those berefted values I’ve discarded b4. Nothing cud take away my dreams n happiness from me. No one can make use of me or ‘victimise’ me in any sort of way. I am a new born Zokhri Idris who believes in nothing but in himself, who has faith in no one (except few larrr horrr) but in himself, who determines wat wud he want n will do anything juz 2 b happy.
So I welcome 2009 ... a year of change ... a moment of reform ... a year which promising better hope and chances, 4 me 2 live life 2 a blast up 2 da very last. May Lord guides me through – 2 av a blessed 365 days ahead of me; 4 a better life quality, 2 b a stronger person.
Life is kicking now Zokhri !!! Its either now or never !!!
A new ‘Zokhri Idris’ is born 2day,
XXX
After clubbing (hard), my mates n 1 were having post-clubbing tea. I wasn’t really listening although I forced myself 2 join da crowd. I made myself speak juz not 2 alienate myself from em. But deep inside, my heart cried. My new year celebration was ruined after a week of anticipating n planning. I didn’t blame me parents 4 their l8 arrival (they touched down @ 2145 but only appeared an hour later). Dats my duty as a son 2 fetch n 2 bring em home safely. But I cudnt accept while in da journey, they were teasing me annoyingly. Fair enuff, I didn’t join em 4 da trip n didn’t accompany em @ home after dat. But its niu yer, heaven’s sake. All of me mates were out celebrating n sharing dis moment 2gether, n I cant juz let myself 2 b left behind.
After all, i dun deserve 2 b ill-teated after all of my effort in spending sum lil time bringing em home. Don’t u know 2 b a bit thankful 2 ur very own son? After all, im ur son n trying 2 serve u wif da best dat i cud. But still, I av my lines n U cant transgress n being titular juz bcuz u r me parents. Have sum respect n understanding, will ya?
Whilst waiting 4 da train, i tried 2 reach him. I texted asking how’s he’s being doing on dis winsome nite. No reply. Fine. Must b out of credit. I rang n after zillion times, he picked up. Told me he’d fever n dats y he din reply. Awesome. Wasn’t it so hard juz 2 text me informing u r bed-resting due 2 ur illness or simply ring me informing u aren’t well down dere. So much of talking commitment, huh?
So while waiting da train 2 cum, I nodded down brimming. Every1 wasnt being nice 2 me on niu yer eve. Every1 was running away n leaving me alone witnessing a hotspots of fireworks transforming into a magnificent stars up high in da sky. I was alone on new year eve, in MY HOME COUNTRY. As da fireworks began 2 b merrier, I cant help myself from pouring. Helplessly.
After few minutes of sobbing, I started 2 b rationale n analyse things wisely. I profusely told me self – no 1 deserve 2 cry on new year. I wiped my tears n put me headphones on, listening 2 da greatest ABBA’s Dancing Queen and Mamma Mia. It made me feel much better.
I shudnt b grieving n must enjoy da moment. Its da time where every1 is waiting 4 365 days n I am amongst da lucky ones 2 stay alive commemorating it. So even no 1 stood by me I must make sure dat Im not gonna miss even a thing. 2009 is about 2 begin n I dun want 2 embark it wif a feeling being downcast n despondency, let da year exhilarated wif laughters n smiles.
N suddenly I felt da inner strength of mine. A power dat born from da heart without any help of da others. It was solid, ravish n powerful whisper dat made myself tranquil. I felt peace. I felt calm. An utmost serendipity. Surrounding by no 1 under da shimmering stars n fireworks @ nite, on new year was sumting 2 b truly remembered. N I’ve learnt dat, although no 1 can bring u happiness, U shudnt nod down surrendering ur sorrowness. Even no 1 can give u a smile, dat doesnt mean u av 2 cry. Happiness is sumting dat will emerge from da heart, enrapturing da mind n soul without an assistance of other factors. It is from u my dear, flowing naturally in u and sparking mermerisingly without limitation. I will raise, stand still, look up 4 da bright 2009 awaiting me ahead.
Although its full of uncertainties and enigma, I will face it with bravery n pride cuz a person like me, I DESERVE NOTHING BUT ONLY TO BE DA BEST. Its my life and I gonna life wif it in my way.
Mode: Its My Life by Bon Jovi
26 year old marks another year of maturity n wisdom. A higher level of self-persistence and determination. Every second counts dear Zokhri. Its either now or never. They can say anything they want, bringing u down. They can do anything they wish to, making u drown. They can give u a s***, making ur life not moving around.
Mode: Cant Take Dat Away by Mariah Carey.
But I vow not 2 let dis happen. As a matter of fact, I am not battling those who r doing dis 2 me. Im in a war not 2 let dis things happening 2 me. I am 2 defend n 2 protect myself from being hurt n depreciated.
N Im not scared ... If I fall down, I’ll raise. If I loose, I’ll fight back till I win. I’ll gain all those berefted values I’ve discarded b4. Nothing cud take away my dreams n happiness from me. No one can make use of me or ‘victimise’ me in any sort of way. I am a new born Zokhri Idris who believes in nothing but in himself, who has faith in no one (except few larrr horrr) but in himself, who determines wat wud he want n will do anything juz 2 b happy.
So I welcome 2009 ... a year of change ... a moment of reform ... a year which promising better hope and chances, 4 me 2 live life 2 a blast up 2 da very last. May Lord guides me through – 2 av a blessed 365 days ahead of me; 4 a better life quality, 2 b a stronger person.
Life is kicking now Zokhri !!! Its either now or never !!!
A new ‘Zokhri Idris’ is born 2day,
XXX
*Ahlan means 'welcome' in Arabic
Friday, January 02, 2009
Sayonara 2008
I must say many things took place in my life last (immediate) year. Some of em fallen in its place well most of em not. I’ve stood still (although weakening and loosing) facing obstacles came n I fought wif me sword n shield. No doubts, countless tears n sweat have been made throughout da past 365 days. Ppl cum ppl go in those period dat made me stronger and I swear no matter wat, I’ll still shoot da stars of mine, even without u being by my side ... I’ll raise, I’ll fight and I’ll die if dats da price 2 b paid in achieving da aims n dreams cuz I know even if I fail, Im still b higher above others.
2008 wasnt about an ordinary year. I have learnt loads of things, witnessed a lot of incidents dat sumhow, allegedly, changed my interpretation of life. Some argue I’ve changed drastically from da days they known me b4. Heaven knows why, my dear. But all I know, reforms must b made in order 2 suit contemporary surroundings. True, Zokhri is no longer an angel cuz he’s been surrounded by da devils. He is no longer kind as life taught him 2 b cruel. He will no longer believe in his ideal fantasy of love n frenship whereas da reality has portrayed otherwise.
2008 taught me dat ppl will not always be by my side, no matter how closed they r 2 us (family, frens, loved ones). Truth b told, da biggest objections I have received came from me family members which I then realised, 4 sum1 best 2 understand me, to love me dearly doesn’t av 2 b blood-related. In fact, becuz of dis blood-related relationship, it has made me life upside down; feeling lost without any directions 2 go. Ironically, I am a world 2 da others who believe dat I can b da best being in da way I am. I am a world 2 em despite not being truly cherished by my own biological family. U mite call dis harsh, unreasonable and ‘it-shudnt-be-dis-way’ thingy. Wif all due respect, I fully appreciate dat. But isn’t it dat i’m da best 2 understand me family than thou? 4 watever remarks u mite av called it, dun get me wrong. Im and will not disowning neither leaving dis ppl. I am and will forever still love em till da end of everything. Its juz dat, da love transpires in a different way. Quoting my learned brother Thomas Lum, he mentions, “its juz a chemistry dat children fight wif their parents, call it odd call it sinful, but dats da way it works between dis two subjects.” Its juz da way they love each other, in other words. And I accept dat as my destiny sumting dat almighty Lord as given onto me.
I dunno, why, up 2 dis point, my 2008 rambling encircle on da expression of frustration and despondency. It wont b fair not 2 acknowledge da happiness 2008 has given to me. Not juz few byt wud cost a significant amount, if I may rate it. 2008 saw da re-unification of two souls, which were a parted 4 1 year, despite they were know each other 4 3 years. Thanks 2 September 4 made dis happened n I swear, nothing crossed me mind, prior 2 dat, dat I’ll re-meet dis person again in my life. We, indirectly or self-understandably bringing our life into our own path, without da reach of each other. But came September proves dis 2 b wrong and indeed dis 2 souls were still loving each other n their temporary separation was a mistake 2 b learnt by both. N now we r happy in each others’ arms, strengthening da love and bond between us day by day.
2008 brought me closer 2 my destination. Although da mission wasn’t totally accomplished, but Im proud 2 announce it was deemed successful in certain extents. Im getting closer day by day, n wif prayers n hard work, Im sure I’ll hit it on. Still da progress is sumting Im proud of n feel thankful for being in it. Although it didn’t bring me dere (juz yet), @ leasr I’ve found my escapade from da hellish working lifestyle. Gosh, Zokhri will never enjoy work, and so do u, rite? In da end, going back 2 uni is a turning point n has made me realised da need of utilising my young-ness (if dere’s such word in dictionary) moment 2 do anything dat I want, being anywhere I desire 2.
Furthermore, 2008 has made me determined wat do I really want in life. I admit ever since graduation till late 2007 (n even in early 2008), I was vague n clueless wat do I really want 4 da years 2 cum. It changed seasonally till a spark has ignited in me and dats da direction I am heading for (without any doubts or half-hearted). God willing, dis wud b my future n I pray dat He will make it easy 4 me till da end (although I know it wont be easy ... Ha Ha) n now Im no longer hanging on da air, looking n searching cuz I have already found it. I have embarked da steps to it and whether I’ll b flying, running, swimming, walking or even crawling, I’ll never give up n will make sure it will happen.
O Lord, help me !!!
Until da end of 2008, I believe, I have made da best of it. I’ve given my utmost best, living me days and moments passed n Im glad I’ve done dat without any fear or feeling less-superior 2 others. I took control of my life n didn’t allow da other 2 take over (even a bit). Still, dere always be a room of improvement shud I had more time. I cud av done better if I know how 2 do it in da first place =). Sokay Zokh, dats life innit? Its a journey and not a destination, n da journey u r travelling wif began from da day u see da world till da day u no longer see it. Its a journey of improving urself 2 b better, learning from ur mistakes n struggling 4 a better, higher place dat u deserve.
U go boy =)
2008 wasnt about an ordinary year. I have learnt loads of things, witnessed a lot of incidents dat sumhow, allegedly, changed my interpretation of life. Some argue I’ve changed drastically from da days they known me b4. Heaven knows why, my dear. But all I know, reforms must b made in order 2 suit contemporary surroundings. True, Zokhri is no longer an angel cuz he’s been surrounded by da devils. He is no longer kind as life taught him 2 b cruel. He will no longer believe in his ideal fantasy of love n frenship whereas da reality has portrayed otherwise.
2008 taught me dat ppl will not always be by my side, no matter how closed they r 2 us (family, frens, loved ones). Truth b told, da biggest objections I have received came from me family members which I then realised, 4 sum1 best 2 understand me, to love me dearly doesn’t av 2 b blood-related. In fact, becuz of dis blood-related relationship, it has made me life upside down; feeling lost without any directions 2 go. Ironically, I am a world 2 da others who believe dat I can b da best being in da way I am. I am a world 2 em despite not being truly cherished by my own biological family. U mite call dis harsh, unreasonable and ‘it-shudnt-be-dis-way’ thingy. Wif all due respect, I fully appreciate dat. But isn’t it dat i’m da best 2 understand me family than thou? 4 watever remarks u mite av called it, dun get me wrong. Im and will not disowning neither leaving dis ppl. I am and will forever still love em till da end of everything. Its juz dat, da love transpires in a different way. Quoting my learned brother Thomas Lum, he mentions, “its juz a chemistry dat children fight wif their parents, call it odd call it sinful, but dats da way it works between dis two subjects.” Its juz da way they love each other, in other words. And I accept dat as my destiny sumting dat almighty Lord as given onto me.
I dunno, why, up 2 dis point, my 2008 rambling encircle on da expression of frustration and despondency. It wont b fair not 2 acknowledge da happiness 2008 has given to me. Not juz few byt wud cost a significant amount, if I may rate it. 2008 saw da re-unification of two souls, which were a parted 4 1 year, despite they were know each other 4 3 years. Thanks 2 September 4 made dis happened n I swear, nothing crossed me mind, prior 2 dat, dat I’ll re-meet dis person again in my life. We, indirectly or self-understandably bringing our life into our own path, without da reach of each other. But came September proves dis 2 b wrong and indeed dis 2 souls were still loving each other n their temporary separation was a mistake 2 b learnt by both. N now we r happy in each others’ arms, strengthening da love and bond between us day by day.
2008 brought me closer 2 my destination. Although da mission wasn’t totally accomplished, but Im proud 2 announce it was deemed successful in certain extents. Im getting closer day by day, n wif prayers n hard work, Im sure I’ll hit it on. Still da progress is sumting Im proud of n feel thankful for being in it. Although it didn’t bring me dere (juz yet), @ leasr I’ve found my escapade from da hellish working lifestyle. Gosh, Zokhri will never enjoy work, and so do u, rite? In da end, going back 2 uni is a turning point n has made me realised da need of utilising my young-ness (if dere’s such word in dictionary) moment 2 do anything dat I want, being anywhere I desire 2.
Furthermore, 2008 has made me determined wat do I really want in life. I admit ever since graduation till late 2007 (n even in early 2008), I was vague n clueless wat do I really want 4 da years 2 cum. It changed seasonally till a spark has ignited in me and dats da direction I am heading for (without any doubts or half-hearted). God willing, dis wud b my future n I pray dat He will make it easy 4 me till da end (although I know it wont be easy ... Ha Ha) n now Im no longer hanging on da air, looking n searching cuz I have already found it. I have embarked da steps to it and whether I’ll b flying, running, swimming, walking or even crawling, I’ll never give up n will make sure it will happen.
O Lord, help me !!!
Until da end of 2008, I believe, I have made da best of it. I’ve given my utmost best, living me days and moments passed n Im glad I’ve done dat without any fear or feeling less-superior 2 others. I took control of my life n didn’t allow da other 2 take over (even a bit). Still, dere always be a room of improvement shud I had more time. I cud av done better if I know how 2 do it in da first place =). Sokay Zokh, dats life innit? Its a journey and not a destination, n da journey u r travelling wif began from da day u see da world till da day u no longer see it. Its a journey of improving urself 2 b better, learning from ur mistakes n struggling 4 a better, higher place dat u deserve.
U go boy =)
N now 2008 closes, leaving behind da sweetness n da bitterness of life. It was a fulfilling year wif loads of things 2 b learnt n 2 b cherished. N Im glad I’ve made it. N I thank 2 all who have stayed by me 4 da past 365 days. I cudnt av done it without u b by my side. N I pray may our acquaintance shall remain 4 ever, 2gether we walk through da sunny n stormy days of which 2009 is yet 2 offer.
Above all, I thank you dear Lord, for granting me life – another second 2 breath on dis mortal earth. A gud servant of thou I am not, but Im always be gratitude 4 wat u ve given me.
To ye My Lord, I Seek Repentence and Your Guidance ... Amen
P/S : I still think dat ‘Titanic’ is da best movie ever produced in dis century. Matilaaaa feeling sorang2 katanyeh.
Sayonara 2008,
XXX
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)