BACK TO BASICS

Nothing is permanent in this wicked world – not even our troubles

Charlie Chaplin (1889 – 1977)

SITUATION IDENTIFICATION:

Without showing any signs or symtpons, my Dell Inspiron 6000 has been pronounced dead. Chotto, no its not dead, yet, as it can still be switched on. Da thing is, nothing will appear on da screen despite been switched on for hours. After consulting da medics, da problem rooted to a hardware malfunction, which preventing images 2 appear although da system is running. Stranded in a rural Urasa, where English is hardly conversed and da cost of repairing amounting to ¾ of buying a new lappie, I decided 2 juz wait till I get a new 1. Definitely, I’m not getting 1 in Japan because da language setting is only in Jap which I cud unders10 any.

THINGS 2 PONDER:

Strangely, I don’t feel sad or utter loss upon knowing dis. Although I’m pretty much feel handicapped due 2 dis inconveniences, but I persuaded myself not 2 b carried away. True, living without a lappie (in Japan which da broadband speed is super duper fast) is a hard thing 4 me. U can take away my money n food (not my cookies, please!!) but not my lappie. Thinking of 5 years of gud memories n acquaintance, I thought, dis cud b da time 4 it 2 terminate da service n companionship.

On a deep thought, nothing wud last everlastingly. When God decides its no longer b urs, u’ll loose it, no matter @ wat cost. I’ve been taking a gud care of my lappie, n as I sed, without any preliminary signs, da screen juz goes blank. Its all God’s Will n as a weak mortal, who am I 2 stop dis from happening.

Nevertheless, I take dis as a training ground 4 me – 2 train myself 2 perceive dat everything dat I av is lent 2 me 4 a period of time n when da time comes, He shalt take it back. From da small thing of losing a penny, a big thing of losing my lappie 2 da largest one of losing my life. No matter how much I crave n desire 4 it 2 stays, it will soon leave me, when He asks to.

Maybe, I’ve been losing a lot all these while, dat makes me stable when losing a mere 21st century celebrated-invented machine, a laptop. I’ve been losing many ppl I love da most, individuals I adore a lot, many chances I forfeited, lots and lotsa money due 2 my recklessness, n dreams dat failed 2 meet its reality. I’ve been 2 da worst despair, saddest moment, extremely disturbed situation and comes dis situation, its juz a lil tiny thing compared 2 wat I’ve gone through. @ times, I was helplessly kneeling on da ground questioning – wat else U wanna take from me? Aren’t these not enough 4 U and for me?

But when faith comes 2 surround me, belief finds 2 console me, I managed 2 wipe out da tears n carefully whisper 2 myself. Perhaps God has another plan that I seemed not to understand. Sometimes in life, U juz had 2 believe after been endlessly discovering, u juz need 2 av faith despite back-to-back down turns in life. Honestly, I dun know whether faith n belief will turn out gud in da end, but if dat is da only strength left I av 2 hold on, juz 2 proceed another second of living, I will still grab it. Even knowing da day will come when God will take me away from dis temporary living, I hope n I will try 2 b calm n b stable 4 it. Everything dat runs in me, da blood, cells, organs are from Him n only belonged 2 Him. I am juzz a trustee 2 take care of these n 2 live happily. So holding 2 da fact dat they aren’t mine (as I dun own em permanently) who am I to stop da owner from taking back wat is His, no matter how much I needed em. I know dis sounds silly but – if I ever can buy my life 2 b permanently mine, I’ll pay 4 it @ whatever cost.

But sadly, dis is not wat we entitled 2 decide.

Hence now, I’m living my life back 2 da basics. No more FB 24/7, no more K-Pop during breakfast in da morning n no more Korean dramas b4 I go 2 bed, till I get a niu lappie *sigh*. But, Kamonnnn Zokhri, da great Rome was built without a computer. So do da pyramid, Titanic, da locomotive train, first car on earth, etc..etc.. n laptop wont feed u from ur hunger (although it feeds me spiritually). FOOD does! I will still b able 2 live comfortably n happily without dis 14 inch tool. After all, our early forefathers have shapped da world civilisation without da help of dis technology. And u av nothing 2 lose compared those who r incapable, handicapped, poor n starving all around ya.

Shudnt u b thankful, 4 those many gifts dat are surrounding u?

Or even on d day when I’ll belonged 2 da unfortunate events above-stated, I will hold both of my hands tight n say…

God Has Another Plan That I Seemed Not To Understand.

P/S: For unknown reason(s), I dunno why suddenly hot liquids rushing down from me eyes, streaming through my cheeks n landed on da paper Im writing on.

Thank you…for teaching me dis lappie. You’ll be greatly missed!

ZI

In loving, exciting and happening memory of My Dell Inspiron 6000 (2005 - 2010)