L.O.V.E.

I have to tell dat, up 2 dis moment, I’ve been receiving many (if not countless) concerns addressed by frens n mates. As many predict, its all bout nothing else but 4 my recent entry, which I believe, has invited many speculations n self-interpretation from others ... positioning myself as da story teller (whom he personally experience it). I thank for all early morning calls, texts, facebook messages and other means of reaching me. Ur concerns r truly treasured.


Please allow me, to reflect on few points raised. It is indeed, da presence of S, was out of contemplation n imagination. I wasn’t prepared neither I cudnt think reasonably, making me in da deepest level of quandary. True, if sum1 is in love, s/he shudnt be distracted by da presence of a stranger (who deliberately expressed his feelings). I confess, that it was my entire fault, despite da fact i’m attached wif sum1, I cud be easily distracted by an old fren, who has been disappearing 4 such a long time.


To those who think I’m a slut, unloyal 2 my love n ungrateful, I beg to differ. I admit, I shudnt vignette myself 2 b disturbed by a third party, establishing da fact I’m wif sum1. But such interference wasn’t from another (potential) lover; dat person was merely offering a reverence of frenship in a complicated n totally different way. Indubitably, its da matter on how we perceive da issue in hand and as be told, my love 2 da one, hasn’t diminished nor faded. Its a solid brick which only being improvised by unwelcomed wind n water. Its testing my love and endurance to sum1 dat I truly adore but I assure u nothing has changed my feelings 2 dis person. Da test in painful, debilitating both of us, but so long we sincere in wat we intend, things will be made easy eventually.


Second, I av learnt dat love comes wif many versions n interpretations. It also allows us 2 express it in a different way, suiting one’s motive. For instance, my unconditional love 2 me parents wudnt be da same wif my everlasting love 2 me ‘sunshine’. Its not da same n wud never b da same. Same goes 2 all my male frens, female frens, coursemates, my sibs, cuzzies n all. In fact I love everyone who loves me. As much as they treasure me in their life, I value them even more.


Same goes in here. Probably I do feel in love wif my fren S, but da love 4 S wud be distincted wif da 1 dat I truly cherish. Its not, at all, a matter of loving 2 ppl @ da same time, but its just a variation of love one needs to express to different parties. Meaning, I am now av 2 draw a demarcation, making a room 4 each of every1 dat I love in my heart. Obviously, my ‘soulmate’ wud always be da priority, but dat wudnt eliminate da others from sharing bits n pieces in my remembrance n thoughts. If I am able 2 divide my body equally 2 every1, I wud how sacrificed my soul 2 do dat.But. I. Just. Cant. Even if I cant, dividing my time n devotion equally seem far from possible n satisfying.


Dats y I (really) need ur help, dear ‘sumone’,

4 u 2 guide me through thick n thin, showing me da path to go dis through 2gether. I cant do it alone neither leaving my sole intelligence n decipherence 2 handle dis. I want u 2 av me without taking me away from my loved ones. I have vowed 2 serve u, 2 devote my life 2 u wif all my heart yet Im juz a simple guy n miscrospic chap needed by others too. N I need them 2 spice up me life while Im totally tranquilled n ravishingly grateful wif ur love n tender.

Wat happened last week, was a moment sent by Almighty Lord, 2 testify my vows I have pledged 2 u. It wasn’t an easy one or da first, neither da last dat i have to wade. Da wave will bloat 2 b larger, tougher n unimaginably vast 2 b handled n tellin ya, I cud have drowned in dis fiery sea without ur arms 2 guide me through


2others who boggled witnessing my follies n were eussing my betrayal from love, Im sorry. Yeah, da old Zokhri u’ve known isn’t da same as u know now. He was one believed in da power of luv n it wud unsurpassed everything dat comes. He is now wronged, kneeling on da ground wif both hands up-raised, surrendering dat da reality has indeed taught him, dat da power of love is always has its glory n downcast. He has also learnt, sumtimes, love can b bliss but also as an utter despondency.


A holly Romeo I am not, who is willing 2 die 4 his everlasting Juliet. Not even da notoriously Helen, who superseded her grassroots juz 2 b wif Troy. I am juz Zokhri, a blundered n irresistible while my feet are stumbled, clamped on earth, unsure of its direction n movement.


But I love my love beyond everyone can compare. I wondrously place dis person @ da deepest part of my heart – unreachable n sealed tightly in my secret sanctuary. For dis mortal is da reason why I am blissful n blessed, in dis bewitched n misleading life I am going through.


Yours,
ZI