TRUE FRIENDS: BETWEEN REALITY & FANTASY

PREFACE:
May I begin by reiterating (again n again) wat my great Professor Panoyatis Tsakaloyannis has taught me. He reminds me in dis world, “dere r no permanent friends neither permanent enemies. Its only permanent interests.”


4 da past 365 days, I used 2 believe dat frens r 4ever. True friends do exist n willing 2 sacrifice themselves (or their interests 2 b more practical) 4 me. Or even having family members will stand by me, no matter wat happens, they will always give their limitless support on whatever path we choose in life. I used 2 believe in those especially da former.


But reality has taught me otherwise. Frens cum n go s quick s da clock tickles. I used 2 av gud frens in high school, in college or even in my Manchester days, but not all b da case now. I’ve been wondering how n why, but dats da nature evolves around us, human. Ppl seem 2 av their own direction n frequent been swayed by their direction without looking back where they start. They…Juz…Disappear. But surely, beautiful memories remain.


N im slowly adapting 2 it. Treating new mates as they r, putting aside it will last long. N I know dere is no use 2 keep on believing in true frenship as it is juz a myth phrase 2 me. I did av true frenship n best frens but I guess its over now, living da current into a more of partnership basis.


N im not regretting it.


Perhaps dis is da normal phase dat every1 has 2 go to. Being an adult (well I hate 2 say dis, 2 b honest (^_^) will urge u 2 prioritise, n putting ur goals as da driving force in ur life. 2 certain extents, it is a wise strategy 2 leave sum1 if s/he is a distraction 2 us. Or even da existence of him/her brings no gud 2 ourselves but merely as a burden, Theory X says u shud make a move departing from dis individual(s).


Shud dis serve as a theory, clearly dere ought 2 b further scrutinisation of da details. Wat kind of distractions r we talking ere? Wat circumstance mite we justify as a burden 2 us? I admit, distractions and burdens cud be very subjective n has 2 b merited according 2 case by case basis. But suffice 2 say, if one is dreading u away from ur goals n aspiration in life, wudnt dat be in itself concrete to stand as a distraction.


Moving on, burden will always exist n cycles our life. It depends on how u deal with it n overcome it. Frens can be burdensome in number of ways n not all burden amount 2 a dismissal of sum1 in our life. In other words, burdensome can be seen in a +’ve way n da other way round. To sacrifice our time n wealth over a fren is not a burden. It is indeed, an honour. An honour 4 having da opportunity 2 serve sum1 special 2 us. N these aren’t ordinary ppl in our life. They r da selected ones. Hence 2 spend a moment wif a fren, despite 24/7 hectic schedule is not a problem 2 me.


But if our intentions n actions are being construed wrongly, or being utilised 2 his/her personal motives, burden began to emerge. In short, 2 let ourselves be abused by others is vividly be seen as a burden. A sacrifice dat is not worth 4. A meaningless effort dat will only bring u down (slowly n gradually). And 4 all these reasons, it has 2 stop.


On a different angle, frens can easily leave us n turn 2 be an enemy. Dats y I’ve inserted my great prof’s sayings in da beginning of dis entry. If da readers r smart 2 to interpret, it implies dat frens can find their ways turning into enemies and vice versa. S/he is a fren 4 2day, but 2moro will cum without an assurance s/he remains da same. Consider dis @ a bigger scenario (if dis analogy seems 2 b rite 4 all). Afghanistan n Iraq used 2 b US ‘gud’ allies in da past. Da former has been a ‘gud fren’ 2 da US during da cold war battling against Communism. The Bush Sr. Government has in fact given wide range of assistance be with military n monetary 2 da Mujahideen 2 cease Communism from spreading into da minds of Asia. Saddam Hussein, for once, had established gud rapport also wif Bush Sr. government in order 2 combat Iran, since da radical Iranian Revolution took place.


But wud sumone willing 2 share wat has happened now?

Where did da US stand in 2001 against Afghanistan?

Wat did da Bush Administration do 2 Iraq in 2004?

N I bet none of da US officials cud make us understand s 2 Y such negative reversal happened.


Flying back into da country, the Malaysians will never 4get how ‘perfect’ Tun M n da former Anwar Ibrahim (whom is famously known as DSAI). They av been gud buddies in politics, supporting each other till early 1990s. Tun M even clearly projected dat DSAI will inherit his place as da PM soon after he retires. DSAI on da other hand, had publicly declare dat Tun M is (now was) his brother, a mentor, a fren, n bla bla bla. But 1998 appeared, resulting da world 2 spin 180 degrees (sum sed if its change 360, it will bring us back 2 da original standpoint – hence no difference), inviting imminent shock 2 da locals n foreigners. Tun M even put DSAI in prison s a matter of fact.


Clearly, where r da logics?


Hence while it is true dat true frens exist in a fantasy world of mine, it doesn’t b da case in da reality. Some of my frens have even regarded me as an enemy due 2 certain unavoidable fallacies in our frenship. Wat else can I do, apart from witnessing da change of his/her heart n accepting fates dat has happened. I will try 2 save da frenship, but upon reaching some points, I av 2 back off n move on. I cant ask 4 sumting dat has already not belonging 2 me.


At least, GOODBYEs on a very exceptional occurrence tend 2 b a gud ending (if u look @ a bigger picture)


Sumtimes I wonder; how many frens will be left till my last days on earth? How many remaining 2 send me their prayers on my final departure? Fantasy wise – I want all of my frens since childhood 2 attend my funerals n sending their thots n prayers 4 me. Realistically – its not 4 me 2 decide, but I will try my best 2 av more n more mates who will usher me 2 da end of my my days.


SUMMARY:
I have learnt dat ppl change and sumtimes da change is resulting in loosing sumting. I cant stop dat evolution 2 happen as it is beyond my limited capabilities 2 interfere. I witness these changes wif an open heart (as open as possible) while allowing more ppl, frens n mates 2 join a small, little world of mine. My life is short, and it wudnt be worth spending on sumting or sumone whom I not belonged to. Surely, when one door closes, another opens. At least a window juz 2 pass through. Frenships do offer stormy weathers but they also do av sunny days 2. So why bother at da stormy n cloudy moments whereas u have plenty of sunny days 2 smile?



DISCLAIMER NOTICE:
THIS PERSONAL RAMBLING TENDS TO BE GENERAL AND STRICTLY INAPPLICABLE TO ALL CASES. I DO AV FRENS N MATES NOW N I JUZ WANT EM 2 KNOW I CHERISH UR VERY PRESENCE AND APPRECIATE DA GIFT LORD HAS SENT TO ME.