Konnichiwaaaaaaaaaa …
It feels good 2 b resurrected again after months of silence and disappearance. My apologies for such unavoidable circumstance in which, I believe, many of u r aware dat my silence in blogging sphere is well justified – got to accomplish 20,000 Masters of Arts Thesis at Malaya. And all praise due to Almighty, with all your prayers and support, the humble, flaw and imperfect piece of mind has been produced, bearing the title of “The Declining Superpower: The Case of 9/11 and Aftermath.” Upon this submission therefore, I have successfully concluded my mission in Malaya in less than a month ago.
Nevertheless, when a story ends, a new chapter begins. Fate and destiny are full of surprises, indeed. Nothing crosses me mind, since I was a kid, dat I will be able 2 witness da mesmerised ambience of Nihon a.k.a. Japan. In fact, I din allocate much interest on the country (n I blame Korean Series 4 dis: 4 making me wandering and dying 2 land myself there rather than in Japan). But God is Great. He never disappoints me in allowing me 2 c da world n meet new ppl although, in da past, I’ve been very much disgruntled wif journey in me life… n I profusely telling n training me heart dat, “I need not 2 av a reason 2 b angry wif God.”
LIFE IS FULL OF UNEXPECTED SURPRISES.
Maybe, dis is wat we perceive as wisdom behind things. God knows how desire I was (and I still am) to go back 2 da Elizabethan soil. He knows how unhappy I am been stuck n stranded in Malaysia 4 quite a long time. Wif all da toubles n conflicts dat I left back home n above everything, da loneliness in my heart despite been surrounded by da presence of family n frens. Have u ever wonder dat, for all what you have around and possess, the heart is still craving for something indescribable? Something is juz missing n my life is so imperfect n incomplete. I supposed being me, creating and involving in conflicts and controversies are unavoidable. (Diva kerrr I nie? But me gurlies at home been calling me as Ratu SK-II a.k.a. Spekulasi dan Kontroversi Kuasa Dua ok). But to certain extents, it has accelerated too much in which I find it not worth 2 b tolerated n given much attention to.
AND I KNOW I HAVE CHANGED A LOT, TOO.
From a decent, average (certainly not well) mannered Zokhri Idris into indecent, wild and recalcitrant person. I’ve changed 2 b indifferent rather than being sensitive, benign and understanding in da beginning. I’ve being a devil, after years be known as closely to an angel (to some) –emphasis added- kindly ignore if u dun belong 2 da ‘to some.’ I juz dun b bothered wat ppl perceive me n think bout me. Its none of me business n go-to-hell will all of their personal views in deciphering me. Whether its gud or bad, I am juz being who I am. I am not subjected to any1 n only belonged to me. N 2 certain extent, these new emerging changes are strongly emerging in me. IT’S MY LIFE AND I LIVE WITH THE WAY THAT I WANT.
While that transformation begins to reach its maturity phase, destiny brings me to Japan, The Land of Sakura.
I always believe dat human do need a break after long commitment n endurance. I do believe I am easily bored wif things n always look 4ward 4 new things in life. N here I am. In a land of uncommon, nothing much 2 b expected, n nothing much 2 b feared of (if ur expectations dun find its way 2 materialisation) n I do welcome dis. Certainly I will live my life 2 da fullest in Japan. Niigata (da city I live in) is giving me a different view s I av embraced in da past few years. Its quietness n serendipity makes one’s mind to find peace, far away from tension n depression. Its ppl are welcoming n way too accommodating, making me breathe from da surrounding of hypocrite and ill-intentioned humans. Dis small kampong-ish (rural) place is giving me opportunity to live life, n 2 witness and cherish God’s creation on earth. – I wake up in da morning, seeing alpine trees and blossoming flowers (bunga ape tatau) one-by-one transforming green into brownish in the small park rite in front of my room window –
And since Im done with my MA, I always regard dis as my vacation reward. No doubt, my sponsorship from the Japanese Government requires me 2 undertake some obligations, but none of these tie me down. I can simply take my time n moment 2 go through all of dis. Perhaps, been surrounded by prominent Jap academics, dis wud b da best time 2 get my PhD proposal on Globalisation and International Terrorism done – subsequently launching my application for placement, wondering where da wind will take me dis time. And as I always ever hope, may my stay in Japan helps me 2 discover more about myself n da meaning of me life. Lately been delving a lot into love and loneliness (s da heart cudnt lie) but I av no reason 2 fear n 2 worry wat is coming next. I’ll juz take it n deal wif it as da time comes n leave in God’s hand to decide wat wud b my tomorrow like. Shud love really exist, it will soon finds its way to me. I dun av 2 search n hunt, but will juz let da heart open when da appropriate moment comes in. Realising dis, I feel calm.
Lastly, I am now moving on, kicking-up my life hard. I wish not 2 remind myself all da s*** dat occurred back home, as I am now embarking a niu chapter in my life, n refused 2 b reminded bout da past. To those, who will never let go of me into ur own self-complicated issue, I, getting me arse da hell out of it – walking away with very much optimistic anticipation on my future, and when I cum back home, I’ll b a revitalised niu person, (much stronger n persistent I hope) feeling fearless n always look up 4 da brite destiny God has written me for.
I thank God 4 everything He has done 4 me all dis while.
From da window of a small tiny room which give me da largest opportunity 2 discover more about myself,
ZOKHRI IDRIS IS BACK!!!
It feels good 2 b resurrected again after months of silence and disappearance. My apologies for such unavoidable circumstance in which, I believe, many of u r aware dat my silence in blogging sphere is well justified – got to accomplish 20,000 Masters of Arts Thesis at Malaya. And all praise due to Almighty, with all your prayers and support, the humble, flaw and imperfect piece of mind has been produced, bearing the title of “The Declining Superpower: The Case of 9/11 and Aftermath.” Upon this submission therefore, I have successfully concluded my mission in Malaya in less than a month ago.
Nevertheless, when a story ends, a new chapter begins. Fate and destiny are full of surprises, indeed. Nothing crosses me mind, since I was a kid, dat I will be able 2 witness da mesmerised ambience of Nihon a.k.a. Japan. In fact, I din allocate much interest on the country (n I blame Korean Series 4 dis: 4 making me wandering and dying 2 land myself there rather than in Japan). But God is Great. He never disappoints me in allowing me 2 c da world n meet new ppl although, in da past, I’ve been very much disgruntled wif journey in me life… n I profusely telling n training me heart dat, “I need not 2 av a reason 2 b angry wif God.”
LIFE IS FULL OF UNEXPECTED SURPRISES.
Maybe, dis is wat we perceive as wisdom behind things. God knows how desire I was (and I still am) to go back 2 da Elizabethan soil. He knows how unhappy I am been stuck n stranded in Malaysia 4 quite a long time. Wif all da toubles n conflicts dat I left back home n above everything, da loneliness in my heart despite been surrounded by da presence of family n frens. Have u ever wonder dat, for all what you have around and possess, the heart is still craving for something indescribable? Something is juz missing n my life is so imperfect n incomplete. I supposed being me, creating and involving in conflicts and controversies are unavoidable. (Diva kerrr I nie? But me gurlies at home been calling me as Ratu SK-II a.k.a. Spekulasi dan Kontroversi Kuasa Dua ok). But to certain extents, it has accelerated too much in which I find it not worth 2 b tolerated n given much attention to.
AND I KNOW I HAVE CHANGED A LOT, TOO.
From a decent, average (certainly not well) mannered Zokhri Idris into indecent, wild and recalcitrant person. I’ve changed 2 b indifferent rather than being sensitive, benign and understanding in da beginning. I’ve being a devil, after years be known as closely to an angel (to some) –emphasis added- kindly ignore if u dun belong 2 da ‘to some.’ I juz dun b bothered wat ppl perceive me n think bout me. Its none of me business n go-to-hell will all of their personal views in deciphering me. Whether its gud or bad, I am juz being who I am. I am not subjected to any1 n only belonged to me. N 2 certain extent, these new emerging changes are strongly emerging in me. IT’S MY LIFE AND I LIVE WITH THE WAY THAT I WANT.
While that transformation begins to reach its maturity phase, destiny brings me to Japan, The Land of Sakura.
I always believe dat human do need a break after long commitment n endurance. I do believe I am easily bored wif things n always look 4ward 4 new things in life. N here I am. In a land of uncommon, nothing much 2 b expected, n nothing much 2 b feared of (if ur expectations dun find its way 2 materialisation) n I do welcome dis. Certainly I will live my life 2 da fullest in Japan. Niigata (da city I live in) is giving me a different view s I av embraced in da past few years. Its quietness n serendipity makes one’s mind to find peace, far away from tension n depression. Its ppl are welcoming n way too accommodating, making me breathe from da surrounding of hypocrite and ill-intentioned humans. Dis small kampong-ish (rural) place is giving me opportunity to live life, n 2 witness and cherish God’s creation on earth. – I wake up in da morning, seeing alpine trees and blossoming flowers (bunga ape tatau) one-by-one transforming green into brownish in the small park rite in front of my room window –
And since Im done with my MA, I always regard dis as my vacation reward. No doubt, my sponsorship from the Japanese Government requires me 2 undertake some obligations, but none of these tie me down. I can simply take my time n moment 2 go through all of dis. Perhaps, been surrounded by prominent Jap academics, dis wud b da best time 2 get my PhD proposal on Globalisation and International Terrorism done – subsequently launching my application for placement, wondering where da wind will take me dis time. And as I always ever hope, may my stay in Japan helps me 2 discover more about myself n da meaning of me life. Lately been delving a lot into love and loneliness (s da heart cudnt lie) but I av no reason 2 fear n 2 worry wat is coming next. I’ll juz take it n deal wif it as da time comes n leave in God’s hand to decide wat wud b my tomorrow like. Shud love really exist, it will soon finds its way to me. I dun av 2 search n hunt, but will juz let da heart open when da appropriate moment comes in. Realising dis, I feel calm.
Lastly, I am now moving on, kicking-up my life hard. I wish not 2 remind myself all da s*** dat occurred back home, as I am now embarking a niu chapter in my life, n refused 2 b reminded bout da past. To those, who will never let go of me into ur own self-complicated issue, I, getting me arse da hell out of it – walking away with very much optimistic anticipation on my future, and when I cum back home, I’ll b a revitalised niu person, (much stronger n persistent I hope) feeling fearless n always look up 4 da brite destiny God has written me for.
I thank God 4 everything He has done 4 me all dis while.
From da window of a small tiny room which give me da largest opportunity 2 discover more about myself,
ZOKHRI IDRIS IS BACK!!!
4 comments:
I lOve YOu more Than everything,... -ct-
And your love will always guide me through the tick and thin ... be my laughter in sorrow.
Thanks x
along; I'm so jeles!~ :)
Angah,
Dont be. Ur time will come soon. real soon (i guess)
sarange heyo x
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