Thanks For The Memories

Mode: Everyday I Love You.


I never feel death is so close to me. Blatantly, feeling loss for ppl who r being surrounding us is normal s we grow older. None in dis world is immortal. Every soul n life shalt taste death, eventually return 2 its Creator 4 a never-ending happiness. Dis is wat we (da living souls) been promised 4… for a day of separation from da living creatures, into a rest b4 being summoned 2 meet our Almighty Creator. I started 2 feel loss n began 2 understand da meaning of loosing sum1 dat we luv, beginning da age of 10. My most beloved grandmother (4 her special attention, devoted lovings 2 me, I love her more than my other grandmother) left me due 2 a sudden death in da infirmary. I cudnt even cry cuz I was too sad n shock. Only after few days of the burial, tears began 2 brim, realising she is no longer dere 2 comfort me. N until 2day, I still crave 4 her love n caring.

{O Lord…she was a great grandmother 2 me. Please take care of her b4 I finally cud join her in heaven. Amen.}


Time passes by… wif new lifes come 2 join da existing ones, while I’m progressively aging and decipher da existence of life. But comes 2009, da world, I realise is begin 2 loose many gr8 ppl as 1 by 1 is departing 2 Lord’s call 2 join Him in His Loving Arms. The death of my closed fren Markus Ng Chung Yau on February 4th, da World’s King of Pop who was an idol 4 his non-discriminatory ideologies n equality of all mankind, Michael Joseph Jackson on June 25th, Malaysian rising talent who preached 4 Love n Equality 4 all Malaysians, who will b fondly remembered by da entire “Saya Anak Bangsa Malaysia” regardless of races, Yasmid Ahmad on July 25th, and recently Stephen Patrick David Gately on Oct 10th, 4 his lovely voice n music rendition. Footnote: I come from a generation where BSB, MLTR, Boyzone, N Sync, M2M, Spice Girls are my must-have-list in my music album.


I’ve lost 4 important ppl who av been part in my growing life, juz in a third quarter of 2009. N da bad thing is – I always have regarded their presence 4 granted while they were still been wif us. I only had a chance 2 meet Markus once since he came back fr da UK, I seldom listen 2 MJ’s great hits these days, I’ve missed Yasmin’s Talentime in Cinema and, for nearly 5 years I’ve been residing in the UK, non of my time spent 2 see Steo’s or the Boyzone’s concerts. Da truth is – we will appreciate sumting/sumone when it’s gone right b4 our eyes. We will feel da presence of ppl when they r absent from our life. N dis will haunt us 4ever, - 4 missing da opportunities God has given us while da person is very much alive.

And I will never let dis thing continues…da outcome is totally unbearable n has 2 b stopped immediately.


Sometimes, I wonder, why da world is so cruel n unfair. God has taken da gud ones n left us wif da bad n ill-intention human. Y r these 4 angels, kind-hearted who never offended ppl in a way, b called 2 meet Him in heaven while bad leaders (who thirst and hunger 4 wars n da blood of da innocents) terrorist, environment polluters, endangered species killers, criminals etc remain? WHAT HAS HAPPENED 2 DIS WORLD OF OURS? Why am I facing bad ppl, witnessing much destruction of life n creatures day by day? Aren’t dere any mercy left 4 us, dear Lord?


3 days ago, I went 2 a Memorial led by IUJ Pilipino Community, 2 dedicate our remembrance n thought 2 1 of IUJ graduates, Antoinette Kindipan who has been called 2 meet Da Creator 2gether wif hundreds of souls who died in da Ketsana Storm and Landslides in The Philippines. It was an eye-teared occasion. Even though I dunno her personally, but knowing sum1 who lived da world @ a young age while she can do so many things 2 mankind is indeed disturbing. N she isn’t da only 1. Many died in a series of catastrophic disasters, taking place all around da globe. Our brothers and sisters in Padang Sumatera, in the Philippines, southern Japan … everywhere in da world.


I was nodding down, whispering 2 meself, perhaps dis is a God’s sign of anger 4 all da destruction dat human had ever caused. Aren’t these environmental disasters are caused by da hands of human, who refused 2 love da nature n da earth 4 their personal boastfulness n greediness?

{O our Lord, we indeed had created injustices 2 ourselves, and without thy forgiveness, O Lord, we will be in greatest loss} (excerpt from the Holy Qoran)


Nevertheless, da legacy n teachings of noble lifes will never die, although da body will decompose. Their presence will always be remembered though they no longer b wif us. And these will b kept as a treasure deep inside me heart, guiding me through sailing dis cruel, life-less world till da day my time has finally arrived. Hence, I wud like 2 take dis wonderful opportunity 2 thank all of u, 4 da memories we had, while u were still been around me.


Thank you Markus, for letting me 2 believe 4 a brite future 4 our Malaysia. U r one of da least Chinese frens dat I know who has shown a high interest in joining da govt service, which currently dominated by da major race. U made me 2 av faith in our country, while da faith is probably perished in me. A faith 4 a niu generation of Malaysia, not because we r Muslims or not, Malay, Chinese or even Indian, but because we r born n known as a Malaysian.

Markus Ng Chung Yau
(6/5/1985 - 4/2/2009)

Thank you MJ, 4 trying 2 make da world a better place 2 stay – a world of no separation of races and colour, 4 da love to our mother-nature, children and da promising ones. U gave us love, while none was giving it 2 u. U gave us soul while u left in utter misery n loneliness. No matter how bad they have treated u, forgiveness is da reward U’ve given em. They brought u down, but justice will never let it happens. To me, you were innocent, kind-hearted and a gentled man. May you rest in peace, enjoying peace and serendipity when we denied them 2 U.

Michael Joseph Jackson
(29/8/1958-25/6/2009)

Thank you Yasmin for your beautiful play and meaningful teachings. Although we never met, but many had testified your sense of humbleness and caring 2 da nation. Im sure many r slowly embracing ur thoughts, strategising various means n movements 2 materialise ur dream – Malaysia to be a place for everyone. I dun care who r u (or who were u b4) but u r known juz in da way u wanted 2 b known. After all, U r truly a Malaysian.

Yasmin Ahmad
(1/7/1958 - 25/7/2009)

Thank you Steo, 4 ur angelic voice, accompanying my phases of growing up. On top of everything, I admire ur encouragement of being honest (2 ur fan n 2 urself) on ur true feelings. I wish I cud b as brave as u. To have da strength 2 b ourselves regardless of wat ppl thought. I want 2 b brave as u were, 2 enjoy life s u did, 2 to love sum1 as u loved. A Chinese saying goes – Heaven Envies Talent – n I think dats y u’ve been called @ such a young age, living us in absolute shock n surprise. Rest In Peace Steo.

Stephen Patrick David Gately
(17/3/1976 - 10/10/2009)

So, gudbyes my beautiful souls. Im bidding u farewell on ur physical presence but coalescing hard wif ur teachings n legacies. Dere cudnt be another Markus, MJ, Yasmin and Steo but dere will be many who believe in Markus, MJ, Yasmin n Steo. I juz know.

R.I.P lovely ones…



P/S: One of me mates was suggesting dat we shud go 2 as many concerts of our favs as we can, cuz these wont last permanently. Heaven knows. And I seriously think da logic of his assertion.


Goodbye my angels,
ZI