Current Mode : Disappointed
Song : 4 in the morning (Gwen Stefani)
Wat wud u feel whilst lecturing all out, students make joke and burst into a laugh?
Wat wud u think when they were laughing out loud while u were explaining sumting priceless?
Am I standing as a joker? Making stupid and dirty jokes to all? Dat I'll be paid for entertaining and reverencing my audience.
For God's Sake, I'm delivering knowledge. A piece of a promising failure you would inherit.
Hence,
Do I deserve to be treated like dis?
Do I deserve for such kind of humiliation and disdain?
Is dis the way to return for all the kindness and unconditional concerns I have shown?
Is dis da price u paid for everything I have done?
If its no, why r u doing dis 2 me?
I am just an ordinary Zokhri, an ordinary human being leading to an ordinary life.
I had once, put my sole trust on u, believing dat u gonna change and be a better man. Through my deepest despondency, I' ve realised by putting my unquestionable trust on you was the biggest mistake ever I had made. I was very wrong from the start
*sobbing*
*sobbing*
Admitted, I am not as experienced as other lecturers, and Legal Studies is so much mundane 2 compare wif others.. I av nothing to offer neither does my subject. NIL. All I cud give is a loving care and teaching, raised sincerely from the bottom of my profoundest broken heart. For unconditional love and knowledge is the only thing dat I have.
" and U know I give U all of me
I give U everything that I am
I'm handling over everything that I've got
cuz I want to make it worth da fight "
With all of my shattered heart and despair,
" Am I worth nothing in your life? "
13 comments:
sabar la wan zokhri oi...biasa la tu...budak budak kat taylors macam tu la...aku pon macam tu jugak dulu
ooo ya aku rabani
hey wanzu, don't be too shattered. you care too much. don't let this bother you, and just teach. up to them if they want to listen or not.
teaching, like parenting, is one of those things where the final outcome is always beyond your control. you cannot force someone to respect/love you, or to enjoy studying and learning, but you can only encourage them to. and i'm sure you're great at that.
keep going man. not everyone has a heart for teaching. you certainly do, and that's something special you've got going for you. don't let experiences like this discourage you. you are bound to encounter them in the profession.
stay strong bro
abg wan,
pd pandangan sue, tugas sbg seorg guru ni murni...so, walau apa pun yg abg wan buat, niat yg penting sebenarnya..
walau macam mana pun anak2 murid abg wan treat abg wan, abg wan kena terima sbg satu ujian dan dugaan sbg seorg guru..
yg penting niat la...tapi, kalau abg wan marah sekalipun kat anak2 murid abg wan, jgn sesekali tak halalkan ilmu yg abg wan bg... cause if so, it seems that you're not really sincere to teach them.. be careful.. org yg tak ikhlas pun akan dpt balasan jugak..
biarkan apa je yg anak2 murid abg wan nak buat dlm kelas.. biarkan apa yg diorg nak ckp.. biarkan apa je yg diorg fikir... yg penting abg wan dh jlnkan tanggungjawab abg wan sbg seorg guru..
now, it's leave it to them... either want to take it or leave it.. kalau diorg main2 dlm kelas, itu maksudnya diorg tak minat sgt nak belajar.. nanti diorg akan dpt la balasan dr Tuhan...
sue ada satu kisah yg nak dikongsi dgn abg wan ttg "Raja Yg Zalim & Raja Yg Baik".. tp, lain kali la ye... kisah tu pjg sgt..
apa2 pun yg abg wan buat:
1) ingat Allah
2) utamakan Allah
3) niat kerana Allah
insyaAllah, abg wan akan dpt ganjarannya...
Hi zokhri,
I used to feel that way but don't worry, those are the normal challenges that you will face as a young lecturer.
I was very depressed one day when things got out of control so I consulted senior lecturers.
They gave me these pointers.
No 1: We are not merely lecturers who deliver knowledge, we are entertainers as well as the stage is ours.Therefore, our actions will be scrutinized as we are dealing with adult learners. It's a part of their game and we just play along.
No 2: As we are dealing with adult learners, we can never control their responses towards us.
No 3: Be tough. Even though I'm a female lecturer, I have to deal with them like how men fight in the battle field.It's against my nature but if you're exposed to that kind of surrounding, you'll get used to it.Students will constantly test you in various ways and after each test, you will just get stronger.It doesn't mean that we can't be friends with them. After they graduate from your course, they can become your friends for life.
No 4: If they disrupt your lesson, just chase them out of the class. Then ask the rest of the class, who is right and who is wrong. Students usually come to study, so they will support you. These naughty students will definitely be criticized by their classmates. They will learn from that lesson.Set your reputation, Zokhri, once they know you're tough, deep down they will appreciate it.
I did that when one of my students danced in class and another case in which a female student can't stop laughing and disturbing her friend. I ordered them out of the lecture room by saying that the door worked both ways meaning they can come in and they can leave. He chooses to leave while she cried to be allowed to stay. After those incidents,they pull up their socks.(These students are in their twenties.)
No 5: Share your frustrations with other young lecturers and you will learn how they deal with their students. It helps to have a support group.In my workplace, the young lecturers unite and are there for each other. It helps a lot.
No 6: Never ever ever cry in front of students ;)
You're a good lecturer, Zokhri. I can see you're doing great.Don't let these obstacles bring you down.
Zokhri... Am I disappointing? =[ I dun wanna be..
Dear drizede,
thanks for da comforting.haha now im ok ko mmg ape yg aku cakap mmg ko x pernah dgr..dah berbuih mulutku suruh ko active dalam society but u never listen. haha
nice re-meeting u buddy
xxx
Markus,
OMG u finally landed ere (again). cant believe dat u've seen da entry. n i thot i was already be forgotten =(
lol
anyhow im much ok now naaaaaa me wasnt too shattered had da fact im too shattered i wud give up my job but still im ere in taylors surviving and striving hard towards da end.
u definitely rite in da end I cant put da force to my studs as they av da wisdom to choose I admit i took serious attention to my studs so dat they'll be better than me. u know dat i always wanna be a change in da soc hence im putting too much effort and expectation on them
which is, not entirely right
ur last para is so inspiring yeah i'll keep on going and whoever crosses da line i'll kick their a**es off (opsssssss hopefully my studs dun read dis) LOL
thanks for da concern, it was an unexpected but forever will be remembered
thanx bro
XXX
Zokhri i dun think they're laughing at u , maybe they're laughing about something else ... of coz that doesn't mean it's right to laugh during lectures ... still , i don't think u're a joker in their eyes
sue dearie,
thanks for ur lovely thot. i'll av dat in mind. no doubt, for all these while, i forgot da power of niyyah. niat tue yang penting kan. sbb dari niat tue akan menentukan samada kite ikhlas ataupun tidak. dan dari keikhlasan akan lahir kesungguhan dalam melakukan sesuatu pekerjaan.
i know i shud just let my studs decide wats da best for 'em i cant force not even expect them to show a high interest to da subject. lagipun im teachin legal studies. not all ppl are blessed with da skills n talents dat i have (opsssssss dah riak dah ni. confirm semua amalan ditolak) hahaha
p/s still figuring out how da story looks like? izzit a bedtime story where we used to hear when we were kids?
u'll never be forgotten, dear
I PROMISE
xxx
Jun Nee,
naaaaaaaa dear, u arent one of them. Its not bout u so rest assured.
I know u'll never disaapoint me
Best,
xxx
Anonymous,
I know da fact dat they werent laughing at me. but its just dat i feel so disrespected ppl laughing while im presenting my case. n i juz feel i dun deserve 2 b treated as such...
I second all ur points
XXX
dear abg wan,
thanks for da promise...
i'm looking forward to meet you soon..
sue abis belajar 11April...
klu rezeki sue keje kt kl, boleh gi lunch sesama..
klu dpt jb atau trganu, see you next time la abg wan..
lagipun, abg wan tak lari ke UK kan?...so, ada masa lg..
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