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Monday, May 31, 2010

Mid-Life Crisis


Survey:
Have u ever been into a situation called "MidLife Crisis (MLC)?"
YES/NO
If YES, kindly share ur views.
If NO, kindly ignore dis post, but remember, sooner or later, u will.


Do U know what is a MidLife Crisis?
If YES, OK
If NO, proceed below for description.


If u google it, 3 main results will appear. Nevertheless, I define MLC as a state in life where u r @ a crossroad, clueless on which direction u shud take. It normally happens when u've accomplished a huge mission in life (like graduate from univ, had enough wif existing job, your relationship is at the cliff hanging) or simply u dunno wat will u do wif ur life. As da name propagates, it strikes to middle-aged individuals (30-40 years of age). But due 2 sum exceptional circumstances, it mite happen earlier than u expected. Juz like in my case.


I know wat I want in life. I've imagined wat sort of lifestyle I desire in future. I've also imagined 2 spend my remaining years in a countryside house, surrounded by mountains n streams - fishing in da morning, cooking 4 lunch, gardening in d afternoon, n reading/writing till bed time (of course I av 2 beribadah a.k.a. worshipping God too since my past is full of sins =)


I want 2 b a writer who able 2 inspire d world. I want 2 b known bcuz of my aspiration n inspiration in making da world as a better place 2 live on. I want 2 av my own publication, TV programme production (like Oprah's Ellen Degeneres or like TED.com). If I av enuff money, I want 2 build a boarding skewl in any of da failed states, guiding children 2 change their life n escape from poverty. I want 2 build houses 4 da abandoned child, so dat they'll know, they arent alone in dis world without love n care.


But bcuz my dreams arent look alike da majority ones, I am stuck not knowing wat shud I do next. Wat I mean by majority ones like - I want 2 b a successful surgeon so once I graduated from med skewl, I'll go into practicing -or- I want 2 b rich, hence I gonna start me own business -or- I want 2 b top lawyer/engineer/lecturer...so dis is wat I will do. But I want 2 b more than dat. Beyond existing career n sumting more meaningful in (my) life. N da destination seems 2 b far n blur, making me stranded n not moving.


I juz completed my MA n now receiving few offers 4 my postgrad studies. I am in a state of considering each and everyone of em. Da thing is, despite I luv 2 explore knowledge n enjoy da privilleges being a student, da other reason is becuz I hate working n being employed. Shirooooooooooooo. So even though I dunno wat shall I do (4 sure), one thing I know (4 sure) is I dun want 2 b employed in corporate and practising world.


OK str8 2 d point, dis is wat I got so far:-

a) An offer 2 pursue my 2nd MA in Political Science (Social and Political Theory) at Central European University with full tuition fee waiver. Which means I've 2 work my ass 2 pay my bills still.

b) I'm applying 4 da same course in Korea wif full scholarship @ SNU and Yonsei.
Bonus - Maybe I be able 2 master 한국 (Korean) as my 4th language.
Sub-bonus - I've promised 2 my fav Kpop star dat I will wait 4 him, currently serving military training *wink*. Only then I can leave Korea in peace *winking again*

c) I can write 2 local unis in Malaysia stating my interest in joining academia. From da contacts been made, they r likely want me 2 join service n I can rest assured 2 my Doctorate course since it will be taken care of.
Bonus - I can see LSE, Kings, Bigben, Tower Bride, and Her Majesty The Queen welcoming me
Disadvantageous - Me arse will b bonded wif em for 7 years!!! N academia world in Malaysia is not dat healthy frankly speaking.


Hence now, Im stuck @ a cross-road, wif 3 directions. Each of em has its gud/bad side 2 offer. Da think is, none of dis directly leads me 2 my dreams. I am juz pursuing a realistic plan in life, being mid 30++ who doesnt av savings n specific commitments (like marriage). Unless miracles strikes, I am afraid I juz av 2 endure wif da ordinary planning. Meanwhile I can start 2 work on my 1st publication.


So if u were me, wat wud u do? 어떻가지?


"When U dont know what to do, get still. The answer will come." -Oprah-

3 comments:

syuhada Zack said...

if i were u...i'm asking to myself..which one of the offer capturing my interest.

not everything that we want,is best for us.HE knows everything....and not all dream will come true..sometime we have to be more realistic on what we have...

and for the best, always ask family opinion..because i believe, with their blessing will help us for the future...

think about it....

syuhada Zack said...

ops...nak tambah sikit...

If God doesn’t give you what you want, then it isn’t what you need

renung-renungkan dan selamat beramal... :)

Faezah Zee said...

so, u da decide? if i were u, i;ll go for a or b. never for c. ;)