TIME IS ALL I NEED ...

Today, my 1 month effort of dedication n determination is evaluated. Not to my surprise, it didn't turn out well =). Da reason I can smile still is because I accepted it with an open heart (after one BigMac Happy Meal course few hours after da evaluation been released). Also, after a 'F.I.G.H.T.I.N.G' spell said by my special -slash- personal motivator b4 leaving da Academy. Although I pretty much cud guess da outcome of da evaluation, but open officially seeing it wif my own eyes, many thoughts came 2 my mind, dat sumhow made me questioning whether wat I am doing is rite.

Wait, 착가만요, of course I know it is rite. It's sumting dat I really wanted, n thank God, I av da opportunity n strength 2 do it. Surely, I shud b gr8ful 4 every single minute passed, counting all of God's mercy along da way. But wif such a low score dat I obtained, I cudnt lie by saying I'm happy regardless. U C, dere r few lil things I want 2 do in life (like learning Hangul for example) and bcuz its sumting dat I really wanting 2 do, I've put most of my effort ( I wudnt dare 2 say 2 da fullest bcuz I keep on saying dis is merely an educational vacation, not a serious study course ). 2 make dis thing successfully achieved, I've stayed back after class 2 revise da lessons (ok2 dere's another reason too n u know it), unembarassingly knocking on my 선생님 door asking 4 repeatition n clarification n etc. n partly da result impliedly telling, its not enuff!


정말요? Really?


Prior 2 da exam, my special motivator n I had a talk. ermm a pep-talk if u like. Its bcuz I c myself sailing wif no specific direction in studies. Bcuz da vocabs, grammar (owh da korean particles 박짐 r killing me) speaking skills all combusted @ a time, I lose focus. I dunno wat shud I emphasise on since I'm lacking of all em. But my personal motivator sed, take it easy Zokhri-sshi! As a beginner, we wont expect much that wat a beginner shud know. By knowing how 2 construct a simple sentence n read, dats already in itself an achievement. Believing wat he sed is reasonable, I faced da exam with enuff sleep and free from stress. After all, learning is fun.

We also reached 2 a point dat, ALL I NEED IS TIME! Dun set a specific (impossible) target, but juz enjoy da learning process as every language is all about discovering new things, engage wif it n apply it in daily life. N dere's no special formulae like how many hours a day shud u study or how many things shud u know by time, but juz sail it through n let it flows in ur heart n mind. In da end, dis is wat we call as learning by heart, n not for passing exams!

n 2day I felt da feeling back when I was 13, when getting my results 4 my 1st test in Arabic language. ( I got 40% and got 46% for Hangul ). I can still remember how nearly I was 2 give it up n juz focus on sumting I'm realy gud @ (English Language I think). Da same feeling strikes me now after being experiencing it 14 years ago. Da only difference is - @ least now I'm having Arabic as my 3rd language.
NOTE: Juz AVERAGE ok.. wif not-so-bad skills 2 read, 2 write n 2 communicate.
N when I recall all da sweat n tears of learning Arabic, I am convinced dat learning language is never gonna be easy!! ( I dun believe dat dere is a language in dis worl dat is easily 2 b learnt ). Its challenging, demanding but despite its everlasting reward, I'm doing it bcuz I want 2 do it. n da reason of wanting 2 do it is bcuz it's sumting dat I like.

So I think, I shudnt have a slight doubt whether wat I am doing now is going 2 turn out well. It will in da end!!! Plus I know dat Im not dat lazy n stup. Its juz dat God is testing me 2 ask, whether I am really determined 2 do dis. Da answer cud only be 2:

1) I'VE LOST MY DETERMINATION. n I will remain as a person within my confort zone, who satisfy by knowing his native language, English and Arabic.

2) I STILL HAVE THE DETERMINATION. n I will face dis failure as a stepping stone 4 a long term -slash- success satisfaction. I will identify my handicaps n try 2 improve it from time 2 time. No pressure. No stress. Just enjoyment & patience.



After all I gone through, (wif da 6 month planning n 7 years of being a 할류 Hallyu), do u think its a worthwhile 2 opt 4 da 2nd answer?

Indeed, FAILURE IS A DEFERRED SUCCESS !!!

주그리 씨, 바이팅 !!!!